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Those of you who spend a lot of time on the Twitters are probably well aware of the two most, um, opinionated localish media folks, Buzz Bissinger (Friday Night Lights author, former Inquirer columnist, many other things) and Spike Eskin (WIP host, CBSPhilly.com web guy, and, yes, Howard’s son). 

Buzz (@buzzbissinger) is known for his sporadic and spirited rants on everything from sports to politics and everything in between. Spike (@spikeeskin), a Sixers nut, keeps it mostly to sports now that he’s on-air with WIP, but, as I can attest to, never backs down from a Twitter debate. Or Twitter fight… which is what happened this morning.

It all started quite innocently (sort of) when Spiked fired the opening at salvo at Buzz in response to this graf, which Buzz wrote about Jeremy Lin for The Daily Beast

[Lin] has not solved Michael Vick’s dog-killing problem that continues to make him the most hated athlete in America, although he could by opening a Vietnamese-style restaurant with him and carefully planning the menu together. 

 

Yikes. Count me as someone who is not offended by this, or anything… but the paragraph was probably unnecessary. Spike noticed:

[Thanks to Matt Mullin for pulling together this Storify board, which made aggregating this a much more manageable task. As is often the case with Twitter conversations, there are many replies which get disjointed during the flow of conversation, so we've edited some responses to match up with their intended jab. Enjoy.] 

Spike:

YAY! @buzzbissinger decided writing a column wasn't enough, he had to be decidedly stupid and racist at the end of it for attention!

 

Ding, ding!

Buzz:

Get a fucking life. You sound like you are on drugs on the radio and I would know.

Spike

Thanks for listening brother. Appreciate the support.

Buzz:

I don't need the attention Spike. I am poking fun at the righteous PC squadrons such as yourself. Get over ourself. Ain't daddy. 

 

If you are keeping score at home (I undoubtedly am), it took until Buzz’s second response to get to the daddy issue. I had the over-under at four, so I will now shell over five bucks to Jose, the Winter Classic gnome who keeps me company as I pen you grammatical stylings. 

Spike:

and I'm to get a life, after you make a "Vietnamese restaurants serve dog" joke in a Jeremy Lin piece. 

Buzz:

The world can handle it. Too much PC bullshit. Nobody fucking says anything for fear to offend. Obviously over the top. Said so. 

Spike:

hey didn't you write a good book 15 years ago?

 

Friday Night Lights. He’s talking about Friday Night Lights

Much more after the jump.

Buzz:

Actually I wrote a good book four years ago, my last. Book coming out in May my best Father's Day. Like to see the edorsements?

Spike:

perhaps when Lebron goes back to Cleveland he can commission another book.

 

He’s talking about this.

Buzz:

 I have said a million times the book sucked on LeBron did it for the money. Better than riding on coattails of daddy. 

Spike:

 it's not about what the world can handle, it's about you realizing it wasn't good enough so you added that at the end. 

Buzz:

What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't add it at the end. I put it in when I was writing it. How old are you, six?

Spike:

yes, and as a six year-old, I know a troll when I see one. quick, google me again for another joke.

Spike

I don't know man. I'd take my dad's coattails over Lebron any day. 

Buzz:

Not for the money I got. I have kids in college, son who is severely disabled. I have to eat for a living, not be PC pussy.

Spike:

so the only options are "PC" and "troll."

Buzz:

Terrific comeback. But more entertaining than your soporific radio show. Better than Ambien. Should market it.

Spike:

quick, tell me again how many drugs you've done! thanks again for listening. Want a podcast link? google me again Buzz. 

Buzz:

Your dad has balls. You have none. Go to work for Catholic church.

 

Double whammy! Dad comment and touching on religion. Will Spike take the bait?

Spike

they don't hire Jews Buzz. I'm glad you're not my dad, Buzz. There would be no coattails to ride.

 

He took the bait. 

After this, both guys went off on some solo tangents:  

Spike

I'm just excited I was referred to as "righteous" and "PC" , and that Buzz Bissinger listens to my show on the radio Lebron bought him.

Buzz Bissinger: "I did some radio try out shifts in the middle of the night a few times, I am an expert on radio"

 

 

Buzz

Purposely put Vick item in to see what reactions I would get from the righteous PCers afraid of fucking everything. Spikey made my point.

Spike I have done radio. Did it for a year. I know what's good or bad. You need to go somewhere else and learn. Dull, not interesting. And Spikey, are we to believe you got your job at WIP on talent alone. Big Daddy Howard had nothing to do with it. Man up. Tell the truth

 

OK, now Buzz is going for kill shots. One or two comments are fair, but now we’re cutting deep.

Back to the exchange, where a rando joined the fight to add some fuel to the fire by saying “old man yells into the cloud Twitter fight.”

Buzz:

It isnt old man yelling. It telling a no-talent punk to get some experience and get better at what he does lousy.

Spike:

fact: I have more success in radio than you do at writing.

Buzz:

Honestly Spikey, given your groping to make name for yourself, change name to Spike Esklin. Spike now you are being stupid and you know it. Look at the whole body of work. You will never touch it. 

Spike:

"remember that time I wrote that good book?" 

Buzz

You have more success? Read NYTimes oped yesterday. Read Vanity Fair. Read upcoming book. Boring to tangle with

Spike:

 tell me more, Buzz.  well if you're going to go right at "your dad" jokes, you set the bar pretty low, big guy. Friday Night Lights is your "I'm Too Sexy." You'll be doing autograph signings with RIght Said Fred. 

Buzz

Wow that hurts. Only be said a million times. I have said it a million times. Least I wrote it. 2 million copies. 

(to someone else) he's a no talent punk who got his job because of his father and thinks he is important. Not. 

(to Spike again) Not dad jokes. Tell us–how did you get your job? Father have anything to do with it?

Spike:

not in the least. Give Andy a call and ask him.

Buzz:

Will do. And you are kidding yourself. And of course Andy will fudge. Done with you. Waste of time. Good luck.

Spike:

been in radio 15 years, you should know that, being that you're searching the internet for info on me. don't need it. Tell Lebron hi for me. 

Buzz:

 If you have been in radio for 15 years and this lousy (lethargic, no passion) you really should write for a living.

Spike:

 I thought you were done with me. Go away. 

Buzz:

I want to be done with you but you're such a douchejuice it is hard to say goodbye. Stop playing with the big boys.

 

Douchejuice? And Spike is the six-year-old… 

Spike:

stop replying to me, troll.

Buzz:

 Spike go back to sleep like you do on WIP. Be better if you just snore for four hours. No talent. No balls. 

 

That was it for the most part. There were some random spurts and aftershocks on each person’s timeline, mostly from Buzz:

He is just weeny.

He started it. I dont take shit from no-talent punk. Why should I? People give me shit all time. Some are merited

Would not be great because he has no comeback. Have you listened to him? Worse voice than Bloomberg.

 

And finally, Buzz responded to one person who encouraged the two to continue the fight: 

Any time anyplace. Not in studio. Duel on Market Street at sunrise. Spike has choice of weapon except for dad. Schooled Eskin anyway.

 

We will look forward to that.

And that concludes today’s Twitter fight. For others (I really need to create a category for this), check out Jeff McLane v. Mike Florio, Howard Eskin v. John Bolaris, Murph v Gonzo, and, my favorite, the time Les Bowen punched Jeff McLane in the head following an online melee.