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We’ve covered – in some detail – the home run fountain at the Marlins’ new ballpark in Miami. I think it looks like Kristin Davis’ hideous vagina (NSFW!!!). Most of you disagree.

Anyway, tonight the Marlins will play their first game in the new park, against the University of Miami, and some players have expressed concerns over the colorful folds and flaps and spinning-fucking-marlins contained in the sculpture. One of those worry warts is former Phillie Greg Dobbs: [CBS Miami] 

“If it is an issue, it can no longer be there. I won’t be the only left-handed hitter saying something. If other teams have a problem with it, they’re definitely going to voice their concern to the league.”

 

What’s the old adage? Fishy, vagina-like structures don’t mess with Greg Dobbs’ batters’ eye?

 Something like that.

Anyway, Marlins officials tell CBS 4 that it won’t be an issue– the sculpture will be only activated following select stimuli, like a Marlins home run… or a gentle rub.