Morning Wood: Cock Block
And we’re fucked.
Cliff Lee once again took the mound in June – a month in which he won five games last year – and, once again, he was excellent.
7.2 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 12 K, 1 BB
His pitch chart? Special:
At one point, Lee struck out seven out of nine batters, part of a stretch from the fourth to seventh inning in which he struck out nine of 12 (video here– for real, you should watch it). At some point, I went upstairs for a moment and noticed that my Lee bobblehead, which had just been added to the collection of injured misfits in my office, was bobbling. Here’s the problem: no one had been in the room for about three hours. There was a puddle of urine on my desk, meaning either a squirrel got into the room or the figure had pissed excellence all over my office. I wasn’t sure what to make of this, but something magical was happening and I wasn’t going to mess with it. I shut the door and went back downstairs.
It didn’t matter, though. Lee ran out of steam (stream?) and gave up a two-run double to Jackie Robinson lookalike Elian Herrera in the eighth. Juan Pierre could have caught the ball on what would have been a spectacular play, but his glove was two feet right of the mark, like a blind guy playing Pin The Tail On The Donkey. And in this scenario, it was Lee who the Phillies made an ass out of. He remains winless and became the first pitcher to lose despite throwing 92 strikes since Aaron Harang in 2007.
I hate this team.
Legless Phillies
Both Ryan Howard and Chase Utley will play in an extended spring training game in Clearwater today. During last night’s broadcast, Tom McCarthy, a Phillies employee, read a promo for CSN employee Jim Salisbury’s coverage of the rehab event. The Phillies going out of their way to mention both the injury and where to get information seems like a direct response to the all-out assault on the team’s transparency launched by the Inquirer a few weeks back. Good news? The team seems to be more forthcoming. Bad news (for your paper of record)? CSN is the one benefitting.
Lousy Ledes
The Inquirer's Matt Gelb spun an anecdote about Lee winning a chess match against Pete Orr into a joke about how he hasn't won a baseball game: [Philly.com]
But on Monday, Cliff Lee challenged Orr after his regular match with Pence. The two moved the table to the center of the room and played. "He always kills me," Orr said.
A few minutes later, Orr spiked an empty paper cup. Victory came quickly for Lee, meaning he had won a game of chess in 2012 before winning a game of baseball.
Zing.
Fun with Wiki
Someone messed with triple-A call-up umpire D.J. Reyburn’s Wikipedia page:
Pic via reader Ian
Reyburn, of course, is the guy Jonathan Papelbon thinks should be fired.
Dom Brown
[Brown has] hit .415 (17-for-41) over his last 10 games, with two doubles, four homers, six RBI and 13 runs scored, to push his average to .282.
Can't be worse than what Charlie had available in the…
Ninth inning
With one out in the ninth, the following players (options) stood between the Dodgers and victory: Placido Polanco, Ty Wigginton, Mike Fucking Fontenot, John Mayberry Jr., and Freddy Galvis.
I hate this team.
