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Are you ready for some football?! A July afternoon party. We've got booze and alarms and Hampton Inns and Jesus Christ what the fuck are we talking about? 

Our first official bit of Eagles news this summer, and it’s a blasty. 

Backup running back Dion Lewis, 21, and his brother, Lamar, 35, got drunk this weekend and locked themselves out of a Hampton Inn in Albany, where they were staying, forcing them to pull the fire alarm. The plan completely backfired (jokes!): [Times Union]

The incident unfolded around 4 a.m., when Lewis and his brother, Lamar Lewis, were locked out of the Hampton Inn on Chapel Street, police said. The two men, who police say were intoxicated, then tried to get back into the hotel, but the sliding glass door to the lobby was locked, Officer Steve Smith said.

According to the police report, Dion and Lamar Lewis struck the doors "with such force as to rock them and nearly break them from their hinges." They then pulled on the alarm outside the hotel's lobby, the report said.

 

I almost read the original story as “Lewis pulled a fire arm,” not fire alarm, which, somehow, would have been more expected from an NFL player doing anything at 4 a.m.

Lewis and his brother were charged with falsely reporting a fire (a felony) and misdemeanor reckless endangerment. 

*In completely unrelated (yet totally related) news, I had a dream that Michael Vick and his now wife Kijafa confronted me about not giving QB 7 and his recent streak of good citizenship a fair shake. That’s it. That was the whole dream and I wanted to tell you about it.

UPDATE: Lewis wants to put out… the fire. He says not to be… alarmed about his behavior:

"I want to apologize to my family, the Albany community, the Eagles organization and fans, and to the NFL for my involvement in an incident this past weekend. It was never my intention to cause any public alarm or damage any property. I am sorry for any embarrassment and inconvenience that my actions have caused. I am committed to continuing to conduct myself in conformance with the high moral, ethical and professional standards that I have my entire life and of which so many others rightly expect of me. Because the matter is still in the hands of the court system, I cannot comment any further."

Here all week, folks.