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So close to a Premature Ejectulation game last night. 

My father and I were sitting in our usual season ticket seats, in the 300 level. At around the seventh inning, with the score 6-2, I suggested that we leave. It’s something we rarely do. I mean, almost never. Back when I was 10, we left a game early and wound up missing an inside-the-park home run and a fight. I would spend the next 17 years of my life chasing those two elusive moments. It wasn’t until last season that I saw an inside-the-parker (courtesy of Chase Utley, detailed here)… and I’ve yet to see a bench-clearing brawl. So, we don’t leave games early.

As we walked out, my dad said, “Why don’t we just watch the game from down below, stand behind home for the final two innings?” 

Fine.

It was around this time that I checked Twitter and saw reports that Pat Burrell was in attendance, seated in section 125. 

That's where we would stand. 

As I scanned the crowd for Bat, I noticed our old friend John Miller, founder of the now deceased PhillySportsDaily.com. I sent him one of those creepy, I see you texts. He and his son left their seats and walked behind the section to join us. The four of us shared a laugh about the Phillies and their chances for a comeback. We spotted Burrell and Jim Fregosi – both scouts – and focused more on their lively (friendly) conversation than the game. 

After the Phillies submitted like a drunken high school girl at a college frat party in the eighth, John and his son said they were going to leave. I turned to my dad and said, “Want to go?”

“No, they’re going to come back and win,” he said without a hint of a smirk.

John and I looked at him, chuckled at his unfounded optimism, and exchanged parting pleasantries.

I kept focusing on Burrell and Fregosi, who were wildly animated in talking about whatever they were talking about (perhaps baseball, perhaps the loins of a coed). When father-in-law beater Francisco Rodriguez took the mound for the ninth, though, they both stopped talking and started writing. It was clear that these Giants and Braves scouts were there to see K-Rod. 

He didn’t fare so well.

Check out Chooch ass slaps at :28

The Phillies came back and won, 7-6. K-Rod imploded, blew his first save ever against the Phillies, and likely disappointed a couple of legendary scouts. Our near Premature Ejectulation for turned into an Aaron Heilman Special or a Stream Out of the Dugout Game thanks to my dad’s glass-half-fullicism. John wasn’t so lucky. He and I had the following text exchange during and immediately following the ninth inning:

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Poor guy– he and his son are never going to leave a game early again. 

 

J-Roll™ swag

Jimmy Rollins warned (and took a mild shot) about the pitfalls of leaving early:

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Doc’s decline

Sam Donnellon writes about Roy Halladay’s continued ineffectiveness:

Maybe this is part of the process required for him to become Roy again, but the Phillies are long out of their allowance for those type games. If their season is in fact a coffin, the nails already hammered in would have split and shredded their tomb. They need Roy to be Roy again. And fast.

 

Numb to it

Shane Victorino struck out on an odd play in the first inning. He got hit on the elbow and had to be removed from the game. Afterward, he said he lost all feeling in his hand, but is feeling much better.

  

Ballgirl flashing

Some leather. And, of course, both T-Mac and Wheels described it as a “heckuva” play.

After the game, Genevieve received some love on Twitter:

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CHMM 

The Phillies are still actively trying to get a deal done with Hamels. We’re running out of adverbs here, folks, so something needs to happen.

“They’re trying — actively trying,” a person with knowledge of the situation told CSNPhilly.com on Monday afternoon. “They’re making offers.”

 

Shockey

On Philly Mag’s new Eagles blog, Birds 24/7, Tim McManus writes that the Eagles may be interested in Jeremy Shockey.