Harper_wall

via SB Nation

Somehow I think that when Under Armour came up with the slogan We Must Protect This House and then signed Bryce Harper to be a spokesman (and then made a documentary about it and passed it off as a journalistic work), they never expected the walls of said house to freak out their 20-year-old star. More like: We Must Protect Bryce From This House… because its walls are big and scary.

Last week, as you may remember, baby Bryce ran into a wall in Los Angeles and cut himself up pretty bad. It was a traumatic experience for him. So traumatic, in fact, that Brycecakes is now afraid of the wall, as is hilariously demonstrated in this GIF.

We’ll let Washington Times Nats beat writer Amanda Comak explain further:

Screen Shot 2013-05-22 at 9.54.53 AM

:*( Poor guy.

Nats closer Rafael Soriano wasn’t as empathetic: [SI.com]

“With two outs and the tying run at first, you have to play the outfield so the ball doesn’t go over your head,” Soriano said in Spanish after the game.

“It may not have been a catch-able ball, but if we’re positioned the right way, there might have been a different outcome. With two outs, I could tell my four-year-old son, ‘You know where you need to play,’ and he would go to the right spot to make the play. It’s not an excuse, and I’m not speaking badly about anybody, but I think that’s how you play the game.”

Meanwhile, Phillies fan Mike Trout hit for the cycle last night.