BryantI can’t get enough of this Kobe Bryant-mom legal squabble over his memorabilia. Pamela Bryant, Kobe’s mom, is trying to sell a bunch of his high school mementos (read: junk… except it’s not junk when your son is one of the greatest athletes ever) through an auction so she can buy herself a house in Nevada.

Yesterday, Kobe and his lawyer (I wonder if it’s the same guy who got him off with rape?*) filed court papers claiming that Pamela has no right – no right, I tell you! – to sell his shit: [Philly.com]

“I confronted her about her false statement that I had given my memorabilia to her,” [Bryant] wrote.

“I said to her, ‘Mom, you know I never told you that you could have the memorabilia.’

“Her response was, ‘Yes, but you never said you wanted it either.’ Of course, this is untrue, since my wife and I requested that she return my memorabilia several years earlier.”

His response also set up a mystery: How did the Teen Choice Award Surfboard end up at the auction house?

It “was last seen by me in my personal residence. I do not know how my mother or Goldin obtained possession of this award,” he wrote, “but it was without my permission.”

Bryant says the items “have tremendous sentimental value for me, and I desire to hand down my well-earned memorabilia to my children.”

But you never said you wanted it either? Teen Choice Award Surfboard? This sounds like a horribly ill-conceived episode of The Hills. Like, this can’t be the spring Kobe wanted, right? While LeBron James is busy throttling the Bulls, Kobe is at home nursing his surgically repaired Achilles and arguing with his mom over a novelty surfboard. LeBron: quest to become the greatest. Kobe: family court. Oh yes, karma can, in fact, be a bitch.

*This is why I say we leave Charles Ramsey alone. Kobe admitted that he had non-consensual sex ( some call it “rape”) and within a few years he was back to being a hero and receiving millions of dollars in endorsements. If we can gloss over his past, then we can surely overlook Ramsey’s past and applaud him for being the Big Mac eatin’, white woman savin’ hero that he is.