Screen Shot 2013-07-17 at 9.42.52 AMPhil Sheridan, whose columns I usually like (at least when compared to those written by Marcus Hayes and outrageous nutcase Frank Fitzpatrick), is suffering through the only day of the year without a major sporting event. Unfortunately for him, the printing press doesn’t stop, and, yes, Virginia, there is a newspaper today.

So, Sheridan wrote a column about how Chip Kelly probably won’t handle the media well and this is why that will be the case:

[The Phillies’ struggles] is not especially good news for Chip Kelly as he prepares for his first NFL training camp. Unless Ruben Amaro Jr. can get Mike Trout for Kevin Frandsen at the trade deadline, Kelly and his team will have the full and undivided attention of every sports fan in the region. It will be very interesting to see how Kelly handles that.

The early signs are mixed. During the team’s last full-squad minicamp, when Kelly was obligated to meet with reporters every day, he seemed surprised and less than enthused about the number of ways he could be asked about his quarterback situation.

Kelly doesn’t have his plan written in ink the way Reid did. But then, Kelly didn’t invest the second pick of the draft in a franchise quarterback. He has three interesting but flawed candidates for the job and he hasn’t seen any of them run his offense at full speed. There is no way for him to choose his starter.

Most head coaches would have listed Michael Vick, Nick Foles, and Matt Barkley – in that order – on the public depth chart and worked from there. It would have been easier all around. After answering 1.4 million questions about who took the first reps, who took the most reps, who threw more accurately, who has the best Twitter feed – maybe now Kelly wishes he’d done things differently.

On behalf of all blowhard scriptuals, let me welcome you to Philadelphia. Temperature on the ground is a sweltering 709 degrees, humidity is at 98%, and there are column inches that need to be filled. Please put your tray tables in the upright position and turn off all electronics and sleep monitors. Thank you for choosing Pep Band Airways, where the road to victory is always just a flight away!