If only her friends paid for tickets

If only everyone brought twins to the park

You can thank the ineptitude of our sports teams for costing the city $3 million last year.

A recent city controller’s report, which is easily the least sexy thing to ever appear on this website, has Philadelphia tax revenue up 8% over the previous fiscal year to $2.7 billion. One of the few declines? The amusement tax, which fell 14%– from $21.6 million to $18.5 million. As pointed out by the City Paper, the city has the Phillies, Eagles, Flyers and Sixers to thank for that:

The biggest decline? Philly’s amusement tax, a 5-percent bite out of ticket sales. That, Butkovitz says, can be blamed on the fact that none of our sports teams made it to the post-season in the past year, the first time that’s happened since 1993-’94. And it’ll be the longest period between playoff games since 1995.

The Phillies, remember, ended their 257-game sellout streak in April last year, and are now third in the division and 11 games back. Not that we’re counting.

It can also be blamed on the teams sucking in general and the Flyers playing only half a season. But yeah, the tax loss doesn’t include the impact on local businesses, bars, restaurants, the money machine that is Xfinity Live!, and… bloggers who make more money when local teams win and people care about what the fack is going on. DO SOMETHING, TEAMS! Pleaseandthanks.

via City Paper, Hipsters