Screen Shot 2013-07-25 at 4.25.58 PMFrom Philly.com:

A parking lot attendant who watched over cars belonging to the Philadelphia Eagles as they played was accused this morning in stealing more than $225,000 from one of the player’s bank accounts.

Robert Von Ryan, 37, of Philadelphia, was charged with bank fraud. According to federal prosecutors, Von Ryan entered the vehicle of an Eagle identified as “T.H.” From the car, he took documents that contained  the player’s checking account number.

A spokesman for the Eagles confirmed that the victim was offensive lineman Todd Herremans and the lot was at the team’s hotel in Philadelphia. The attendant, the spokesman said, was a subcontractor and not employed by the team.

$225k was transferred out of Herremans’ account and into Von Ryan’s between 2009 and 2012.

Probably not a good idea to rip off an NFL player who goes by The Toddfather and whose mohawk was inspired by vikings. But, couple questions:

1) How does it take this long for V.H. to get caught? This started in 2009. Herremans has been making more than $2 million per year since 2008, I know, but once five figures start getting transferred out of your bank account and into another, don’t you begin to wonder what is that recurring transaction? No unintentional porn membership in the world costs that much. Not even Bang Bros. Like, is Todd that filthy rich that it took him three years to go: Hey, where’d that $250k go?

2) Why doesn’t this happen more often? I just moved some accounts and had to provide my routing and account numbers to a few different places. That’s literally all you need to set up recurring transactions. I guess most people aren’t millionaires, making fraud easy to track. But still, it just seems too easy.

3) “Documents that contained the player’s checking account number.” Can’t we just use “checks” here?

And 4) WHAT SORT OF MULTI-MILLIONAIRE LEAVES THEIR CHECKBOOK SITTING IN THEIR CAR?