And Now, "If This Was Philly"

SOME DISGUSTING HUMAN BEINGS IN SEATTLE, WHERE IT ALWAYS RAINS AND TOO MANY PEOPLE LOVE MICROSOFT, COMMITTED THE DEPLORABLE AND REPREHENSIBLE ACT OF THROWING POPCORN – DANGEROUS KERNELS, POPPED! – AT NAVORRO BOWMAN AS HE WAS BEING CARTED OFF THE FIELD WITH A LIFE THREATENING KNEE INJURY– AN APPARENT TORN ACL. BESIDES BEING IN EXTREMELY POOR TASTE, WHO KNOWS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD A PIECE OF JAGGED, SHARP AND POPPED CORN LANDED A DIRECT HIT. THIS IS ANOTHER CLOUD OVER SPORTS IN SEATTLE.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE ONE TIME I FLEW OVER THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA ON AN APPROACH INTO VANCOUVER AND WITNESSED THE REGION’S INHABITANTS FILLING THEIR SUPER SOAKERS WITH RAIN WATER, BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, IT ALWAYS RAINS SO MUCH IN THIS MISERABLE CITY, AND SQUIRTING CARS ON A FOUR-LANE HIGHWAY. AND I ONCE DATED A GIRL WHOSE BROTHER LIVED IN SEATTLE, WHERE GREY’S ANATOMY AND ELLEN POMPEO’S VAGINA ARE CONSIDERED “HIGH CULTURE.” HE LIKED GRUNGE ROCK AND COFFEE, AND I DETEST HIM FOR THAT.

There, did I do that right?

via Deadspin