Voila_Capture1042Gooooooooooood morning. Slow weekend around here. Sorry to have left you. Ms. CB and I spent a few days in New York– barely checked email, Twitter, or really anything related to sports until last night. Don’t like to do that often, but have to disconnect every once in a while or else I start to feel like commenters are the director’s commentary for my life and that every choice I make – from what I eat for breakfast to what grungy t-shirt I wear for the week – is judged by phrases like “YOU FUCKING SUCK,” “ROTFLMAO you think Nova is a Philly school,” and “I’d like to motorboat her tits.” Stuff like that. It’s not healthy. It’s good to see and smell real people every once in a while.

There was significantly less Super Bowl swag in a frigid Manhattan than I expected. But, we were surprised by the Pepsi Super Bowl bus that rolled up outside the Apple flagship store (I make it a habit of getting a picture in an Apple store in every city I go to… don’t ask) across from The Plaza near Central Park. We were told by an overly enthusiastic spirit squader, who seemed genuinely disappointed that I didn’t want a free Pepsi, that the Pepsi Halftime Show would be arriving soon and that we should stick around for it. We did. The street was blocked off and there were a few hipsters with HD cameras, so we thought there was a reasonable chance that Bruno Mars or any other celebrity on Earth might show up. Nope. Just a disheveled high school marching band whose members said they would take pictures doing anything – “almost anything!” – so we could Vine and Instagram the terrible publicity stunt. We walked away, and I hate the NFL machine just a little bit more today.

The condo we were staying at in Hoboken, on the Hudson, was directly above Eli Manning’s. I don’t know if he spends the whole offseason there (doubtful), but he’ll certainly be there this week and presumably have many friends and family members over. I spent the whole weekend searching for him, or even Archie, in the elevators and in the lobby. No luck, except for spotting a big box at the front desk with “SB KOOZIES” written in marker on the side. Perhaps some SB swag for the Mannings. Or perhaps not. Either way, I now know the view of Manhattan Eli sees when he awakes from dreams about Eagles linemen.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

Naked girls. Our friends from Girls Of Philly have added all new, local, nude, girls to their catalog. Recognize someone? Probably. Have a look. Link is mostly suitable for work, but after that, you’re on your own.

Flyers. Meet Wayne Simmonds, Steve Mason, Brayden Schenn and Andrej Meszaros, all at Sports Vault. Details and tickets here.

T-shirts. New ones coming this week! Stay tuned.

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Tickets. Simply the best deals on tickets from the secondary market at Crossing Broad Tickets.

 

The roundup:

In case you watched anything else last night – such as the Grammy’s, The Bachelor wedding, or Royal Rumble – then you may have missed that Nick Foles won the offensive MVP award in the game no one watches:

Foles was named the Offensive MVP of the Pro Bowl on Sunday, putting an exclamation point on what was a story book season for the Eagles quarterback.

Foles finished 7/10 for for 89 yards and a touchdown for “Team Sanders”, which was named after team captain Deion Sanders. Foles got the MVP despite his team losing the game, 22-21 to “Team Rice” (named after Jerry Rice).

Still not sold on Foles?

Foles mocking “OMAHA” at Pro Bowl practice.

DeSean Jackson, who narrated his own Pro Bowl touchdown on Instagram, is playing a fantastic game of one-upping ex-girlfriend Chantel Jeffries, who was in the car with Justin Bieber at the time of his arrest. TMZ is reporting that D-Jac spent time in Hawaii with porn star (!) Michelle Maylene, whose work I am not familiar with (really):

We’ve learned … DJ’s been getting close with Michelle Maylene (34B-24-32) … star of such films as “Da Vinci Load,” “Fine Ass Bitches 4” and “Slant Eye for the Straight Guy 2.”

Sources tell TMZ Sports … the two are not “official” or anything — just enjoying each other’s time. They’re currently in Hawaii where DJ is playing in the Pro Bowl.

Sorry, D-Jac. She’s no Biebs. The only way to win this one is to party with Miley or sleep with Rihanna before Mychal Kendricks does.

Phillies TV deal with Comcast still leaves out DirectTV and Dish subscribers.

Tom Gola died at the age of 81.

Here’s Mayor Nutter wearing a Saints jersey, making good on losing his playoff bet:

via (@SteveLindsayCBS)

via (@SteveLindsayCBS)

Actor who played Marlboro Man dead from smoking-related diseases.

I love Kate McKinnon.

Here’s Steve Mason’s new stick and mask, which he may want to retire after giving up four goals on 19 shots on Saturday:

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via reader Deb

Our friends over at Ego Studios have a photo gallery of zombie girls with Mason’s stuff.

This, via Reddit:

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Broncos fans making fun of a handicapped Patriots fanSomebody with a disability gets on the call and you just throw them to the curb.

Podcasts

In the last episode of Crossing Streams we discussed the curious signing of Bobby Abreu, pizza at the Jersey Shore, Dave’s Dan Baker impersonation, and more. Listen or downloadSubscribe with iTunesGrab the RSS feed. All are mobile-friendly links.

We continue to get a great response to Cord Snipped, the new podcast in which me and CB fashion editor Dan Fuller discuss cord-cutting. If you love binge-watching on Netflix or Hulu, you’ll love the podcast. Two new episodes in the last week (we’re featured in iTunes!) discussing the impact of net neutrality on your Netflix bill, Netflix’s response, a possible new Apple TV, and MittListen or downloadSubscribe with iTunesOr listen with Stitcher. All are mobile-friendly links.

H/T to (@Rbrizzle20)