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Johnny Manziel and a homeless person demanded that the Cleveland Browns draft Johnny Manziel. From the Cleveland.com:

Browns quarterbacks coach Dowell Loggains said in a radio interview Thursday that a text from Johnny Manziel during the draft helped inspire owner Jimmy Haslam to trade up for him.

“We’re sitting there and they keep showing Johnny on T.V. and Johnny and I are texting  and he shoots me a text and he says, ‘I wish you guys would come get me. Hurry up and draft me because I want to be there. I want to wreck this league together.’

“When I got that text, I forwarded it to the owner and to the head coach (Mike Pettine),” Loggains said Thursday on Sports Talk with Bo Mattingly on Arkansas ESPN. “I’m like ‘this guy wants to be here. He wants to be part of it.’ As soon as that happened, Mr. Haslam said, ‘pull the trigger. We’re trading up to go get this guy.”’

I want to wreck this league together? Oh… oh…. ohhhhh! That’s pure sex.

This, this is why I was hyperventilating on draft night. Manziel was made for bloggers, wrapped in a blanket by Jesus himself and mailed to mothers’ basements everywhere. He texted the Browns and demanded they trade up to draft him* so he could make money signs in front of millions? Yes and please.

Look, little secret: My sports fandom and blogging interests are rarely at odds. It’s like betting on my own team. When Philly sports teams do well, the site does well. Game 7 between the Flyers and Rangers was all the more intense because a second round matchup with the Penguins would’ve been great for business. The interests are almost always aligned, so I sleep just fine. But the Eagles drafting Manziel? Probably a bad idea for the team… but a gift to everyone whose livelihood is at least in some way tied to talking, writing or thinking about local sports. I wanted so, so bad to write posts like this every morning about what ridiculous thing Manziel said or did. Cocky text messages. Drunken bar fights. Local weather and traffic girls. I wanted those things so bad. Instead, Manziel’s a Brown and in the media wasteland of Cleveland, and Nick Foles is about as bloggable as a pet rock**:

*They realize that this was the professional football equivalent of the 1:43 a.m. bar approach to a solid 6, right? Time was running out in the first round and if the Browns didn’t draft Johnny, he was going home alone.

**He already lost first round Madden 15 cover voting.