Voila_Capture 2014-05-28_11-27-31_AM

I’m sad. I know the Games are a money drain and, as documented by Deadspin yesterday, many developed countries are backing out of their Olympics bids, mostly because the IOC is a corrupt bunch of nuts and milks host cities and nations dry. But still, I wanted rowing on the Schuylkill, beach volleyball at CBP (!!!), and a then-28-year-old McKayla Maroney working as an analyst for NBC taking selfies in front of the Art Museum.

Voila_Capture 2014-05-28_11-29-43_AM

Mayor Nutter, however, told reporters today that it won’t happen. From the Inquirer, whose story of course contains a statement from world overlord David L. Cohen of Comcast:

Nutter said he wants to focus on hosting other events. Though he didn’t name them, the city will be hosting the 2015 World Meeting of Families and is also bidding to host the 2016 Democratic National Convention.

“For more than a year, our team has worked with the USOC and numerous regional stakeholders to determine the feasibility of Philadelphia bidding on the 2024 Summer Olympic Games,” Nutter said in a statement. “However, we do believe that Philadelphia has what it takes to bid on and host an Olympic Games in the future.”

According to the mayor’s news release, David L. Cohen, executive vice president of Comcast and one of the advisers to the team exploring the feasibility of hosting the Olympics, supported Nutter’s decision to not pursue a 2024 Olympic hosting bid.

“We’ve looked closely at this opportunity over the past year with the City and a number of other key stakeholders, and agree that the timing is not right for Philadelphia. We are very confident that we are on a short list of U.S. cities that can ultimately deliver an incredibly successful Games, and intend to continue down our current path towards Philadelphia one day bidding on and securing the Olympics for our city, state and region,” the release quoted Cohen as saying.

“But only after my evil plot to take over the city and world is complete,” Cohen added as he wiggled his fingers ever so creepily before using a crumpled piece of your hard-earned American currency to wipe his ass.

The World Meeting of Families (and a potential papal visit) and Democratic National Convention sound great, but maybe we can start getting some fun events that don’t end with a 6 ABC sponsored concert and fireworks on the Parkway, eh? Super Bowl, perhaps?