Well ain’t this some shit.

Ryne Sandberg got food poisoning from Citi Field’s Shake Shack. He told reporters he lost six pounds in only two days after being the only Phillies coach to put down an entire hamburger from the highly overrated establishment on Sunday. ESPN’s Danny Knobler reports:

“A couple of coaches took a bite and didn’t like what they saw and threw the rest away,” Sandberg said. “I was in a rush so I ended up putting it away.

“I had one piece of toast in two days, and I’m feeling fine about that. I don’t want anything in my stomach.”

And it wasn’t just Ryno. Mets first basemen Lucas Duda was actually hospitalized on Friday with food poisoning after eating a Shake Shack burger.

A statement was released, which is usually what happens when something in the Mets’ orbit goes hilariously, and now disgustingly, wrong:

“We’ve served thousands of guests at our Citi Field Shack over the past week, and this is the first we’ve heard of any issue whatsoever,” said Greg Waters, senior manager for marketing and communications with Shake Shack. “We take every guest concern of any sort seriously, and as such reached out to Ryne Sandberg to get more information since we have not heard from him. We stand by our food quality 100 percent.”

I love how this guy is doubling down on there being only two patrons who got sick, when both of those patrons happen to be public figures who, quite easily, can tell everyone exactly what gave them the shits. Like, I’m fairly certain there’s a meathead in Queens this morning recovering from his disembowelment with no one to turn to.