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John Stewart went into his patented angry New Yorker voice last night to completely shred Ryne Sandberg for getting sick on Shake Shack burgers at Citi Field. In his rant, Stewart turned the focus to cheesesteaks…

You’d rather have one of these? What kind of city takes the parts of the cow normal people throw away, fries it up in a hunk of bread, and before they can call it their signature dish, asks, “Do you want me to put Wiz on that?”

… and Rocky…

A city so f*cking dumb it uses its art museum as exercise equipment.

… and the Phanatic…

This f*ucked up Jim Henson, reject looking piece of sh*t.

… and cream cheese:

What city is so insecure it has to put its name on cream cheese? Cream cheese, a dish that makes itself if you leave milk out. You dairy aisle, Donald Trump motherf*ckers.

Don’t worry– it’s funny. Video after the jump. It should be cued up at the right spot.

Video here if it won’t play.