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The dispute between DeSean Jaccson and Drew Rosenhaus over $516,415 has gone nuclear.

Here’s the gist in short, simple sentences: DeSean was about to fire Rosenhaus after his holdout attempt in 2011 backfired. But Rosenhaus essentially bribed DeSean to stay on as his client by giving him $143k, a $200k interest-free loan, and a Louis Vuitton bag. Rosenhaus is now suing DeSean, claiming that his former client needs to repay him for those “loans” (the $516,415 includes interest). DeSean’s lawyers are arguing that Rosenhaus violated NFLPA regulations by inducing DeSean to use his services, meaning that DeSean is not required to repay the gifts or loans. In April, an arbitor ruled in favor of Rosenhaus, but DeSean’s side is claiming cronyism. So alas, we arrive in federal court. Yahoo! Sports obtained a legal filing from the case which includes this ridiculous anecdote:

Jackson was so angry over the botched holdout that he says he told Rosenhaus he was going to fire him, but ended up staying with the agent after Rosenhaus paid him and his family $143,088 to remain a client. NFLPA regulations prohibit agents from “providing or offering money or any other thing of value to any player … to induce or encourage that player to utilize [his] services.”

Rosenhaus gave Jackson a down payment of $50,000 cash around midnight, at a gas station parking lot, in a Louis Vuitton travel bag. He also gave Jackson a $90,000 check, and a $200,000 interest-free loan.

“We went over the contract on the car [on the side of the road],” Rosenhaus said in an arbitration hearing in September of 2013. “I waited until I saw on my phone that it was after midnight. We proceeded to execute the contract. After executing the contract, I then gave DeSean the money that we agreed to give him. I gave it to him in the [Louis Vuitton] bag.”

I sometimes joke about people in the sports world handing off comically large bags of cash, but never did I think it actually happened outside of SEC football. And then to learn that the comically large bag is actually a Louis Vuitton bag, handed over at a gas station just as the client turns into a pumpkin?! OUTSTANDING!

Side note: That piece also contains this tidbit about Rosenhaus’s sales pitch to DeSean in 2010:

Jackson says he hired Rosenhaus, in part, because the agent assured him he had “close ties to Eagles management” and could persuade the team to renegotiate the wide receiver’s contract “before or during the 2010 NFL season.” At the time, Jackson still had two years remaining on his deal.

Close ties to Eagles management, you say?

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Next question.

Related: Rosenhaus overheard trash-talking DeSean as a client.