Cowboys Cornerback Orlando Scandrick Taught a Nine-Year-Old Children's Hospital Patient a Lesson by Kicking Onsides Against Him in Madden

Scandrick being a dick

Some Tweets from Orlando Scandrick’s teammates made the rounds the other day after the Cowboys cornerback went for two and kicked onsides in a game of Madden against a nine-year-old Children’s Hospital patient:

Yesterday, Scandrick, who seems like a real asshole, talked to ESPN Dallas, and instead of dialing down the rhetoric about whooping up on a sick kid in Madden – a video game version of the sport Scandrick plays professionally – Scandrick decided to double-down on tough love:

“Nothing is going to be given to you, so I don’t think I should have gave him anything,” Scandrick told ESPN.com on Thursday. “I made him better if anything.

“I wasn’t teaching any lessons, but when you play a competitive game, you’ve got to expect to be competitive. If they didn’t want you to go for two and to kick onside kicks, it wouldn’t be on the game.”

“I didn’t talk trash to the kid,” said Scandrick, who was told that the patient would be released from the hospital later in the day. “It was all in fun.”

“You’ve got to work your craft,” Scandrick said. “You’ve got to work your stuff. I might need it in a different ‘Madden’ game. I need to know how to do it. Sometimes you might be playing an intense ‘Madden’ game and you might need to steal a possession. Sometimes you might not be able to stop the other team or it might be hard for you to score points, so I had to see if I still had my onside kick.

“I wanted to see if my two-point plays were good enough in a heated game. You’ve got to try them sometime. You don’t have a practice for ‘Madden,’ so you have to practice when you get up.

“It was all in fun, though.”

Few things:

1) I wasn’t teaching any lessons… goes on to describe almost the exact meaning of teaching a lesson.

2) You don’t have a practice for Madden. Uh, yes you do. The game has had practice mode for about a decade now. And not surprisingly, that one doesn’t require that you beat up on sick children, though I suppose it would make for a fun mini game: Run an effective two-minute drill and crush the soul of a young cancer patient to unlock an exclusive Ultimate Team Hall of Fame pack!

3) Fuck the Cowboys. Seriously. Fuck them.

…

Side note: I totally go for it on every fourth down and kick onsides at least once per game.