You should start by putting a shirt on him, Photo credit: Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

You should start by putting a shirt on him, photo credit: Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

News that the Eagles were going to sign Tim Tebow is less than a day old, so the hottest takes are still to come. But just in the last 18 hours or so, suggestions on how the Eagles can (or should) use Tebow (or not) are wide-ranging. Here now, suggestions on how to use your new Timmay!

 

1) Have him hold your clipboard

USA Today went the “as rational as possible” route:

“It seems unlikely that Tebow could even beat out Mark Sanchez for the backup job.”

Peter King feels pretty much the same way:

“Let’s be real about what this is: It’s a trial. It’s a chance. It’s a coach who doesn’t care about the distraction of having Tim Tebow in his camp, because he thinks Tebow might help his team.”

Michael David Smith at Pro Football Talk doesn’t quite get it, but sees no harm:

“He’s just being given a chance to show that he can do something in Kelly’s offense, even if Kelly’s offense isn’t suited for a Tebow-type quarterback.”

BGN sees Tebow as a default #3 QB, for now:

“Is Tebow the favorite for the third spot? By default, it almost seems like he could be…for now. Don’t forget (as if you could) that the 2015 NFL Draft is less than two weeks away. There are still rumors involving the Eagles drafting Marcus Mariota. Even if Chip Kelly doesn’t draft his former college quarterback, it’s possible the team looks to add another signal caller.”

 

2) He can be your tackling dummy

He’s basically just a body in pads, according to Zach Berman:

“The Eagles carried five quarterbacks on their roster through the spring and summer of 2013. They had four last season, and needed to use an assistant coach in drills at times. So adding another quarterback option is certainly not abnormal, given Chip Kelly’s practices this time of year. Also, Sam Bradford’s rehab schedule means he might not be a full participant during OTAs and mini-camps. That’s one fewer quarterback for drills, so it makes even more sense for the Eagles to add a quarterback.”

Voila_Capture 2015-04-20_10-44-22_AM

Seems it’s mostly Eagles writers – the non-believers – who feel this way.

 

3) Make him a symbol of your own vanity… like buying an Apple Watch Edition, handsome

But maybe it’s not just filling a spot with a name. Maybe it’s Chip Kelly’s God-level arrogance, as Pete Prisco argues:

“Now Chip Kelly, the new president of the CAC — Coaches Arrogance Club — thinks he can bring Tebow in and make it work. Why? What can he do? The word is he’s being brought in as a quarterback, not to play another position. Unlike many, I don’t think he could move to another position anyway. Like most, I don’t think he can play quarterback in the NFL — even in Kelly’s system.”

Mike Freeman at Bleacher Report feels the same way:

“This story is also about ego. Chip Kelly’s ego. Make no mistake about that. This is a total ego move by a megalomaniac, egotistical coach. Is Chip Kelly talented? Yes. Does Chip Kelly think he’s the smartest guy in the room? Hell yes. The Eagles will downplay this signing, saying Tebow is just a body for the offseason. But this move is more than that for Kelly. What Kelly likes to do is prove conventional NFL wisdom wrong. No one enjoys this more than him.”

 

4) To spread the good word

The Delco Times’ Phil Heron knows the real, immediate effect:

“So Kelly decided to throw us – or at least talk radio – a bone with the Tebow news. You have to believe Anthony Gargano is happy. The timing is perfect as he kicks off his morning show on WFAN, and offers a challenge the morning supremacy of Angelo Cataldi and the morning gang on WIP.”

 

5) Let the faithful affirm their belief

A Syracuse.com poll (why not) shows people don’t think he’ll do much:

tebow poll

Broncos fans feel differently (remember today is April 20):

broncos poll

 

6) Lust over him

But he might be too buff:

If a quarterback gets too muscular it can mess with their throwing mechanics. It’s one of the reasons Tim Tebow is such a terrible quarterback. Tebow got so muscular because of his playing style that he couldn’t throw the ball correctly anymore (not that he ever really could).”

 

7) As crafty toolsman… like a carpenter

Some BGN commentor thoughts:
special teams

And the Morning Call feels pretty much the same way:

“After all, Tebow is almost as big as a tight end, and he might be able to fill that jack-of-all-trades role the Eagles once envisioned for James Casey before cutting him this offseason …

 

8) To prepare for the reckoning… of the impending two-point conversion trend

Someone who wrote to a Packers writer thinks Chip is just preparing for the inevitable:

“I see the Eagles signed Tim Tebow. Do you think they did that in preparation for the possibility of the two-point play becoming a more frequently used play? It may be a brilliant signing for them. Tebow is the perfect QB for that scenario. He’s a capable runner and passer from that distance.”

So does Nick Fierro:

“And then there’s this: the possibility that the league could decide at the owners meetings in May to eliminate kicking extra points. That would force teams to go for two, and Tebow running a read-option down by the goal line could be very tough for opponents to stop.”