Good morning. It’s Opening Day! Typically on this day I awake fresh off dreams of watching baseball glory drip itself all over the beautiful Riviera Bermuda grass at Citizens Bank Park. Today, I awoke to a rumbling stomach with a need to get myself to the bathroom, expediently, and part ways with my two Easter meals. It was only then I realized that today the Phillies’ 2015 season would begin its formation into the festering turd it promises to be.
That said, Cole Hamels is auditioning for the Red Sox and the Phils win today.
Let’s hit it!
But first, a word from our sponsors:
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Tickets. Phillies ticket prices are ridiculously low on Crossing Broad Tickets. Check the Red Sox series opening week. It’s amazing how far these have fallen in just a few years. In 2011, Red Sox opening week would’ve been around $120 for an average seat. Now? $40. Your win, I guess.
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2015 Phillllllladeeeelllphia Philllllllies.
Holy shit John Oliver flew to Russia and interviewed Edward Snowden about dick pics:
NBC crew couldn’t have possibly been more wrong:
A-Rod has a private plane with “King A-Rod” livery. Also, A-Rod’s new girlfriend, who looks like an old Alex Morgan.
ESPN is buying a stake in Draft Kings. When does DK go public? I want in.
New Crossing Streams coming this week. All new shows from virtually everything else. LibertyBroadcast.co.