Ball

… which brought the man’s ball total to… one. One ball. He now has one ball.

Over the weekend, Maikel Franco hit his first career home run, to left field. In a (typically) fairly empty section, the ball went right to Joyce Murphy Kiner. The ball hit her glove and dropped into the flowerbeds, and then some asshole checked her out of the way, took the ball, and got out of there. Kiner told the whole story to Anthony Gargano this morning:

“I knew the ball was coming my way. My husband handed me his glove when he left his seat … I put my hand out and it hit my glove or was in my glove but the glove is too big for me. It fell right right in the flowerbed right in front of me … I couldn’t really get up and over the fence without falling in. I had it in my hand and I just tried to get a good grip on it and the guy just ran over, pushed me out of the way, and then took it … He body checked me really.”

She said the guy who stole the ball and his friends (outed as one Jim “Jorts” Bergen, nickname mine) continued to eyeball her while she was talking to the Diamondbacks announcers, like a real scumbag. Kiner said it looked on TV like the guy was escorted out, but really the Phillies certified the ball (presumably taking it for Franco) and sent him back to his seat. 97.5 gave Kiner some future front row seats and a pendant from a jeweler, while also probably giving Jim Bergen a couple of bad days.

It just goes to show you, never trust a guy in jorts and an unbuttoned jersey.

[Editor’s note: Yeah, I know– we’re late on this. Had it scheduled to go this morning, then the Flyers hired a coach from OUT OF LEFT FIELD.]