Photo Credit: The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

Since writing this post, but before posting it, Osi Umenyiora and his wife have released a joint statement on these allegations:

We strongly condemn the vicious and malicious lies that have recently been perpetuated all over the media. We already know that these lies are a coordinated effort by a single unstable MALE source to malign and discredit an otherwise joyous and highly successful occasion. An appropriate legal recourse is currently in effect.

We are pleased to report that the expected result from this individual has been an abysmal failure. We are fortified, strong, and extremely happy. We look forward to a prosperous life together. We would like to thank our family and friends for all your support.

Leila & Osi

Below is the post as was written before the statement was released, because it’s a lot more fun pretending this is all true hashtag journalism:

Osi Umenyiora, one-time Giant and current Falcon, used to wreak havoc on the Eagles’ offensive line and quarterbacks. So now, we can all laugh at him as his alleged sidepiece totally blew up his spot right after he got married. Not good, Osi.

Said sidepiece set up an instagram account (just suspended) to post Osi’s alleged text messages he sent her while engaged, possibly at his fiancé’s side, but claims she said she didn’t do it to destroy Osi’s relationship. Right. She starts the account off with a nice little prologue to intro the situation:

osi1

From then, the texts came out– never a good thing:
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What Osi allegedly did: Told her she was his and he loved her.
What Osi should’ve done: Not slept around on his fiancée.
Highlight: That opening text, no question.

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What Osi allegedly did: Texted his sidepiece from a wedding he was probably at with his fiancée, said he was in love with his SP again, told her to fuck off, called her a bitch.
What Osi should’ve done: None of those things. Not a single one.
Highlight: Sidepiece’s emoji usage.

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What Osi allegedly did: Told his sidepiece she turned him on “mentally and physically” like a junior high kid new to girls.
What Osi should’ve done: Not slept around on his fiancée.
Highlight: This whole text is just a lowlight.

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What Osi allegedly did: The classic desperation move of “just tell me what you want.”
What Osi should’ve done: You know, not slept around on his fiancée.
Highlight: For some reason, the random uppercase “A” in “anyway” is killing me. You know he was typing fast and thought maybe he should fix it but then thought, “nah, it’ll show I don’t care about that stuff, only about her.”

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What Osi allegedly did: Put the fact that he is choosing to cheat on his fiancée all on his sidepiece, basically saying it’s all her fault, and throwing in an “lol” for good measure.
What Osi should’ve done: Everybody, with me: Not slept around on his fiancée.
Highlight: “Fuck you …. lol”

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My heart is light and I’m at peace. Also Osi’s sidepiece has way better grammar usage than possible Osi does. And this just goes to show you guys: Don’t cheat on people, it’s mean. If you’re going to cheat on people and be an asshole, don’t be rich and famous. It will come back to you. Sometimes. Usually never. But when it does, oh boy.

[h/t Barstool for the screengrabs since the account shut down halfway through this post]