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pic via Hollywood On The Potomac

I shouldn’t have stopped reading at the wife part, because as Ryan Reagan – oh he of TMZ – noticed, the Washington Post article about Chip linked to a story about ex-wife Jennifer Jenkins’ business, MommaLu, an online care package provider for when you have the cold or flu and are feeling blue (I rhymed that, baby!):

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ABSOLUTELY BUSINESS SAVVY MOVE here by Lu, or Jenkins, whatevs. Ex-husband becomes a multi-millionaire and the most famous coach in football? Ah yeah, I, too, would go ahead and raise my hand about my seven-year (SEVEN!) marriage and get a little bit of the promotional pie from that ‘ish. I mean, her website gets mentioned in the Washington Post and on Philly’s best sports blog? Brilliant. As UNCONVENTIONAL of a move as her ex hubby pulls off on the field every week. Total power play here. I like it.

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pic via LinkedIn

So mysterious, Chip is. He was essentially married to Betty Crocker for SEVEN YEARS (SEVEN!!!!!), and yet just a couple of years ago there were rumors that he was gay. He runs with the bulls, stocks his freezer with freeze pops, he’s allegedly dating an early-30s Oregon employee, he doesn’t always drink beer but when he does he makes it a Dos Equis. So many secrets. WHO DID YOU CONTRACT-KILL IN THE ARABIAN PENINSULA, CHIP? WHO?!?!?!