The whole “he’s going back to college” thing has followed Chip Kelly around since the second he left Oregon. Why? I’m not exactly sure. Some people are convinced the NCAA is a bigger coaching job than the NFL [editor’s note: why anyone thinks traveling around the country to woo high school kids, and kissing the ass of donors, is glamorous is beyond me]. But the Chip Kelly-to-USC rumors were already flying around when Steve Sarkisian was the school’s coach last week. Now that he’s been fired, it’s a free-for-all.

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Paul Finebaum said on Mike and Mike this morning that Chip is one of two leading candidates for the USC job. And Dennis Doddddddd wrote that Kelly “is the top candidate until he says he isn’t,” which is sort of like saying Mila Kunis is your next girlfriend until she presses stalking charges against you. Dodd continues, the force becoming weaker in him the more he wrote:

If his NFL career devolves into some sort of Spurrier-esque dalliance, then Chipper is a perfect fit. Even if Kelly wins nine games this year, he’d have to at least seriously consider the opportunity …

If it hasn’t happened already, there will be influential boosters/administration who will at least gauge Kelly’s level of interest. USC has to, doesn’t it? (Though the school’s track record for due diligence isn’t great lately.)

Kelly will want to know who the athletic director is going to be which may accelerate the scrutiny on Haden. As for the spread coming to Troy: Never mind the program’s pro-style leanings. You want to win, don’t you?

Okay, first things first: Taking into account Jeffrey Lurie’s loyalty and the fact that he essentially handed the keys to his $1 billion toy to Kelly this offseason, Chipper could lose every game for the rest of the year and he still might not lose his job… so he’d have to quit on his own accord. Secondly, “even if Kelly wins nine games this year, he’d have to at least seriously consider the opportunity”? Anything is possible, but that’s just a stupid, stupid, stupid thing to say– in what world is a moderately successful NFL coach leaving just as his rebuild begins? And “influential boosters”? Ooooooh. They definitely have more pull than, I dunno, the desire to coach and win in the NFL. Because they’re boosters. And boosters are very important in the eyes of boosters.

Dodd’s point about Kelly being the top candidate until he says he isn’t, which I know I already addressed, doesn’t even matter. For one thing, even if he says “College and I are never ever ever getting back together,” that won’t slow the roll of these rumors. And also, Chip wouldn’t come out and DENY THAT HE IS A TERRIBLE RACIST, so what makes you think he’d specifically address this?