Oh my, our friends – I actually like the guys who run it – over at Pensblog have unleashed their Flyers-Penguins game preview, and, well, things got ugly fast:

They haven’t skated over someone’s face or impaled anyone with a stick, nor has a fan drunkenly punched a 10-year old kid yet, so overall it has been a pretty uneventful season to this point for the Philadelphia Flyers.

That was the lede, and it was followed by about 1,000 words eviscertating the Flyers, Flyers fans, Claude Giroux, Broad Street Hockey, and the sad state of Philadelphia sports:

The Flyers are beginning to lose their collective cool, and the Ducks are laughing at them. Ryan Getzlaf doesn’t have hair and he’s laughing at them. A good captain would step up and say, “Hey guys, maybe we should get it together, because even that bald guy over there is laughing at us.”

But what does Giroux do?

He takes a two-handed homerun swing at Cam Fowler’s hand, subsequently giving the Ducks a 5-on-3 power play. After the assault, he cries to the referees like a child –a clearcut sign of being undisciplined and selfish, and then laughs about his actions while standing in the penalty box, which is another sign of bad character. What a leader.

Flyers fans will always support a player like Giroux, because they are bad fans who don’t understand what winning hockey looks like. They see a player like Giroux as a reminder of the way things used to be, when fans could spend their hard-earned money to at least see their hockey team win a few fights, even if they lost the game. All this before was before Hextall took charge, of course.

So predictably, the people of Philadelphia have rejected this new theory that trying to win hockey games is better than turning them into a version of the Royal Rumble. Attendance at Flyer games is at its lowest point since 1995-96.

OK, sure, Giroux’s a child sometimes. Noted. But this is coming from the fan base that roots for Sidney Crosby. Crosby, abilities aside, might be the biggest mangíne in professional sport this side of La Liga. I mean:

Crosby

Yeah, there’s a captain who shows restraint. And never mind the fact that Flyers fans have largely embraced the newfangled efforts of Ron Hextall and Dave Hakstol to change the culture of the team and organization. The problem is that the results aren’t there yet– hence the relative lack of interest.

But – this won’t be popular – I kind of agree with the sentiment here. The part about Broad Street Hockey writing a post about Sean Couturier being a Selke candidate is spot-on:

Can’t imagine what writing something that petitioned to get a third-liner some trophy would feel like. Imagine if Here’s Why Matt Cullen Could Win The Selke was a serious post on this site. How embarrassing.

They’re right. Nothing against Broad Street Hockey (Travis and those guys do a fine job), but this is what sports in this city has been reduced to: championing the throttled potential of a genuinely mediocre (but improving!) hockey team, applauding the Phillies for finally entering the millennium, wondering if the Sixers are now making a concerted to win games, and trying to come to grips with the fact that Doug Pederson is the head coach of the Eagles.

If I were you, I’d read the piece, get mad… then consider that maybe, just maybe it takes someone on the outside to remind you how pathetic sports in this city have become. OH FUCK IT, let’s revisit the exploits of Penguins puck bunny-in-chief Princess Sasss.

H/T to (@B_McGLOCK)