Tom Coughlin
Turn your head and cough, fans, it may be Coughlin.
That’s the overly long back page headline I would’ve written and been told was too stupid and used too much ink, if I worked for a company that printed news on dead trees. But the fact remains: Jeffrey Lurie has grabbed our collective balls, squeezed them for 15 days, savored their texture, and will release them only now that top candidate Adam Gase has gone to the Dolphins, after a token call to highly thought of Hue Jackson, after dismissal of several other interested parties because their water wouldn’t mix with the oil that is Howie Roseman, and after the Giants hired the more impressive offensive coordinator employed by the recently “resigning” Coughlin.
Improbably, the last man standing – without a walker, too! – may be Tom Coughlin, if you believe reports, which first pegged Gase for the job, then Dopey Doug Pederson, then Ben McAdoo, and now Coughlin. Either reporters are slinging shit, or the Eagles are clueless, rudderless, and directionless. Because this, this is truly remarkable:
Chip (52) vs. Coughlin (69) lst 3 yrs:
Overall: Chip 26-21, Coughlin 19-29
Division titles: Chip 1, Coughlin 0
Head/head: Chip 4-1#Eagles— Eliot Shorr-Parks (@EliotShorrParks) January 14, 2016
Of course, if we don’t find out today that it’s Coughlin, then it’s Doug Pederson, who won’t be announced until after he and his boss lose on Sunday because, together, they can’t count to three.
UPDATE: Philly Voice already used the headline:
By golly, I might just make it in this business.
UPDATE 2: And so did Philly.com:
