Philadelphia Business Journal:

A month after leaving office, Michael Nutter has lined up a few jobs that should keep him busy.

The latest came Monday morning when CNN announced that the former Philadelphia mayor would become a CNN political contributor. No word on what role Nutter will be filling but expect to see him pontificating on this year’s presidential election.

This is the third job Nutter has lined up since leaving office. Just last week, Nutter accepted a faculty position at Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs as a professor of professional practice in urban policy.

He also recently became a member of the Homeland Security Advisory Council.

WHY WOULD YOU READ ANY OTHER WEBSITE? ANY. OTHER. ONE.

Me, on December 9, after Michael Nutter baited Donald Trump into free publicity:

Brilliant move by Nutter. Genius, actually. He knew Trump would respond. Nutter is crafting his post-Mayorial career and what better way to jack up speaking and appearance fees and buzz than by getting embroiled in a public pissing match with America’s headline generator. I can see it now: We want to welcome to Morning Joe former Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, the man who once called Donald Trump an asshole. He is currently on the board of [inset ridiculous political organization] and is the author of the new book, “Crude Dope: Running The City That Doesn’t Always Love You Back.” Mr. Mayor, welcome.

It worked better than I thought! Rather than hawking the merch during MSNBC appearances, Nutter has landed a gig as a political pundit during what will be the most covered and pundited election of all-time… which will be the perfect platform to grow his audience for when he releases his book, Crude Dope: Running The City That Doesn’t Always Love You Back.

This is why you read this website. I see through things. I have court vision, a keen intellect, and a pasty white frame. You can go read other sports (oh, this isn’t a sports story? screw off) bloggers who will just take the buzz of the day and repackage it in digestible clickbait form. Or you can read the best website in Philly and be given the ability to see around corners, through walls, and under bathroom stalls.* Stick with me, kids. I’m so good at this sometimes I scare myself.

*Opinions on Richards-Carter trades, Steve Mason, and Ruben Amaro circa 2010 not included. Requires two AA batteries. Not for children under the age of 16. Consult a doctor if dick references last four-consecutive posts or more.