Ostensible everyman Mayor Jim Kenney, who sort of reminds me of Kevin Kline in Dave – what, I’m the mayor? – visited Breakfast on Broad (for what I believe was a pre-taped interview) to clarify double-down on his thoughts on the LeSean McCoy incident, and in doing so, he essentially laid out the rules of South Philly Fight Club:

“[When I said McCoy must pay for “pounding our officers”] I was responding to a video that I saw. And certainly I grew up in South Philadelphia, I’ve been in a number of fights in my life. Man-to-man fights are not the best thing in the world, but they’re fair generally. And you let the guy up, but if people are stomping people and kicking people on the ground, that’s beyond.

So law enforcement’s gonna work their way through this process and what’s gonna happen is gonna happen. I was just asked to respond to a video I saw where I saw a guy on the ground getting kicked. And that’s, to me, where I come from, not fair.”

“Look, I’m not law enforcement, or an investigator, or the DA, so I’ll let them take their process through to where it concludes. Obviously things get caught up in the media and there’s conversations and his lawyer is making statements and the FOP is making statements defending their guys … Look, man-on-man fights, woman-on-woman fights, they’re not good, but at least they’re fair. In Marcus Queensbury rules [Ed. note: I think he means Marquess of Queensberry Rules] you let a guy up, you don’t boot him when he’s on the ground.”

Only in Philly does the mayor go on TV and explain the rules of engagement for hand-to-hand street combat. Well you know, Jillian, Shady was fine with that right-jab, left-hook combo, but the boot stomp really took it too far. On the streets we call that a “Russian Mouthwash,” and pulling that stunt will quickly find you in deep with Little Nicky and Jimmy Two-Time. You just don’t do it… if you know what’s good for you. Capiche?

So, if you’re keeping score at home, Kenney’s two sports moments during his brief time in office: 1) Chip Kelly was a big jerk to me in a supermarket and Andy Reid never would’ve done that! And 2) Shady shouldnta curbed stomped dat dude, cuz!

From now on, all of Kenney’s sports opinions should be preceded by “Jim from Center City, what’s on your mind?”

I look forward to the Kenney era.

Video after the jump [AUTOPLAY ALERT!].