Video: Ethan Baines

HOLY SHIT I WAS JOKING YESTERDAY ABOUT THIS WOMAN SLEEPING WITH BRAYDEN SCHENN. She is not. She is very much not.

Here’s Anne Duggan, maybe the most Flyers fan name ever, talking about her bra-throwing incident at the Flyers game earlier this week and how she would like to play with the Harlem Globetrotters’ balls, could pull – literally – the Flyers out of the depths of their division, and once told Bernie Parent she couldn’t give him a handjob:

“Can I just say one thing about my favorite Flyer Bernie Parent? I had a broken arm, and I’m walking through and he goes ‘Oh sweetheart, you hurt your arm.’ I said ‘Yeah.’ And he said ‘Oh are you righthanded?’ And I said ‘Yeah Bernie, and if you’re looking for a handjob I can’t give it to ya.'”

Why do I feel like I know the exact broken jaw punchline Bernie used as a response?

Other highlights:

“I’m a little annoyed, because those little floozies that come out and do the ice? Whatta we got to look at? And then, they throw all their hats. So I wanted to do something … [Why the leopard print bra?] I wanted it to stand out, I’m an animal.”

Jillian Mele: “I’m the one that said yesterday that your bra was bigger than my face., which it is.”
Bra Lady: “Well, do I look like I’m a triple D?”
JM: “You saw it’s a busy day here today, we got the Harlem Globetrotters here…”
BL: “Which, I wanna play with their balls but they won’t let me.”
Sarah Baicker: “They … they won’t let her play with their balls apparently … before we let you go Anne, you told me that I’d freak out when I found out how old you are, will you tell the folks at home how old you are? I’m ready.”
BL: “I’m 80 years old.”
JM: “How long have you been a Flyers fan?”
BL: “Before the first Stanley Cup.”
JM: “How do you think they’re doing this season?”
BL: “We’re doin’ stinky. I hope they keep it up. I don’t think they’re gonna make the playoffs, unless I go in the locker room.”
SB: “Oh gosh. Alright, you heard that Flyers? I think that’s an offer.”

I think I like Donald Trump’s America.

BOB posted a longer version of the interview on Facebook but, sadly – welcome to Comcast Country – they cut the handjob line. That video is after the jump.

https://www.facebook.com/bobontcn/videos/1688628164752913/?pnref=story.unseen-section