Roger Goodell is unstoppable. The NFL’s dictator – or Gingertator – is not satisfied with just playing regular season games in America and London. Oh no. He wants to expand more, playing Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego (Or, Where in the World Are the San Diego Chargers?) with unfortunate franchises. According to Albert Breer, Ol’ gingy-boy has plans to have NFL games played in Mexico City, China, Brazil, and Germany. You know, where all the football players come from.

The game in China could happen as early as 2018, and in Germany in 2017, according to Breer, and Goodell can just greenlight it himself since owners “already authorized the scheduling of more international games.” The time zone difference does make for some intrigue, though. An 8 p.m. game in China would air at 8 a.m. EST, which wouldn’t be wholly different from the morning start times here for London games.

Kyle: China and Brazil, specifically, are two of the BRIC countries – Brazil, Russia, India and China – which are seen as having high-growth economies. The middle class in China is exploding. It’s no accident Goodell wants to play there. The opportunity is MASSIVE. Football will be unlike anything the Chinese have ever seen before, and between the last World Cup being in Brazil and the upcoming Summer Olympics being held there, that country is about to enter the global mainstream, so again it’s another opportunity for the NFL. Mexico is a natural extension of the US (UNLESS THERE’S A WALL!), and Germany runs Europe, so those are logical locations. Just wait until Goodell announces a Raiders-Steelers matchup in India.

Meanwhile, Hard Knocks is accompanying the NFL on their long-awaited (or so they say) return to LA and will feature the Rams. New frontiers all around.

With Goodell flexing his might, so are the owners. Among the new rules approved by those wrinkly men in unwrinkled suits are automatic ejections for players with two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in the same game, and kickoff touchbacks coming out to the 25-yard line, shifting the risk/reward ratio for taking a kick out of the end zone into the high-risk, low-reward zone, in the league’s awkward attempt to limit injuries but embrace the supposed most exciting play in the game:

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But we will continue not knowing what is and isn’t a catch, because that rule has not changed.