This is how my boss makes me spend the afternoon of my birthday.

Josh Innes opened his show today by playing the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s “Mr. Bojangles,” letting the song ride out until the line “He danced for those in minstrel shows and county fairs,” when Innes chimed in. He opened by asking “General Knowledge question: What station is now a minstrel show in Philadelphia?” Surprisingly, he moved right on to discussing the new Madden game and the show’s plan to run season simulations to predict the Eagles record right after that. For a couple minutes, he’d just drop a passing shot at Miss here – “No need to go anywhere else today, you’d probably just hear some fake callers talking to some fake hair dyed radio hosts” – and there – “callers named Dwayne hop to the front of the line.” But after a long commercial break, he went off:

Innes: “No reason to go anywhere else because what you’re hearing here is what you’re actually hearing here.”

Reigner: “And if it wasn’t, you’re dumb and you had no idea, right?”

Innes: “People are tweeting me about – I’m gonna start calling Mike “Soul Man” now – but Soul Man or Al Jolson whatever you wanna call him, but I’ll go Soul Man – it was a C. Thomas Howell movie where a guy takes a pill to be black – so evidently over at 97.5 they’re a bunch of soul men over there and their whole schtick is that they have fake callers. And then what I’m being told by people on twitter is they’re trying to paint is as everyone in the world has fake callers to the point that they’re referencing Howard Stern and saying the whack pack…no the whack pack are actual whackos who called in because they could get people to call into their radio show and don’t have to fake it. I mean you’d think with your lame, lousy questions, real people would call up and answer your softball, general knowledge garbage, but as it turns out, your callers are as fake as your hair.

From what I understand, Soul Man is saying he knew nothing about this and that he was duped. So of course Soul Man, who is a guy that regularly is offended by everything because he’s so consumed by white guilt that he has to get up and stump for every offensive cause and tell you how awful you are…”

Reigner: “He’s offended by the guy on the pizza box.”

Innes: “He is a guy that is offended on behalf of everyone and everything, that is his schtick. He is Soul Man. But you mean to tell me that you don’t think Soul Man had any clue for a couple of years that a guy that was calling his show was not real. You don’t belive that, and that’s also not the story, by the way. The story is not that there’s a fake caller…the problem is when it comes to 97.5, everything about that radio station is 100% phony. I knew the hosts were phony, because I knew that guys like Rob Ellis were asking to stay on the show with me…or the Cuz shakes you hand to your face and then tells everyone behind your back that you suck, or that Mike’s hair is actually black. I know there’s a lot of phonies over there. I didn’t realize the callers that called the show were fake and they stacked the lines.

And not just fake callers, guys who are WHITE pretending to be BLACK guys. Like, that’s what makes me laugh about all of this. Mr. Soul Man, who is offended by everything…white guilt to the nth degree and he pretends to be boys with all his brothas, HE WOULDN’T LET YOU MOW HIS FREAKIN LAWN on the Main Line. Oh but on the air he’ll pander to you hard and you’ll buy it because you think brothers are actually calling the show. Turns out it’s a WHITE GUY pretending to be black calling the show.”

Reigner: “I’ve never met the man, but I’ve heard enough stories to know he’s a red ass…He’ll flip out on people. We know that Soul Man will punch somebody, will throw someone up against the wall that still works here. We know that. So you’re gonna tell me that guy got played for two years, and it’s just “oh well I don’t see what the big deal is”?

Innes: “Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he doesn’t know: Then you’re listening to an old, out of touch idiot that doesn’t know he’s being pranked by someone doing a minstrel show. Worst case scenario: He knew about it. Best case scenario: He’s an old man with dyed hair who has no idea what’s happening on his show. You like it, then you like it, but whatever.

It’s baffling…Basically what you’re dealing with is 97.5 is run by a bunch of entitled white kids who portray black characters on the radio. Is that fair to say if we wanna throw a blanket over it? You’ve got guys who are in a pretty high position of power, like Myrtetus, who is orchestrating this entire ruse and lying to the audience, and not only lying to your audience, but doing a minstrel show. People went off on me because I posted a picture of Al Jolson last night, but that’s what that is. It’s a minstrel show when a goofy white guy not only calls as a black guy, builds an entire twitter account with pictures and everything. So it’s funny to me because the guy is offended by everything, but now there’s no way this guy didn’t know this was going on.”

We knew Innes would have a field day with this, but I’m honestly surprised he didn’t do it right off the top. Only took a few minutes though. MAESTRO (or something):