Can we all make each other a promise not to ruin Joel Embiid? Not to run him out of town for something stupid or inevitably goofing up late in a game just after photos of him doing the latest viral trend at a club at 2 a.m. the night before surface? I’ll sign on. No more scathing Phunkee dunk or Shirley Temple posts. We won’t rip him for missing two games after he gets a weird STD that makes his elephant balls deflate after he bags Rihanna. We’ll laugh with him. This is maybe the most exciting athlete in the city in the last decade. Ben Simmons could be up there, but I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that goofballs in this city are going to hate him because he’s not one of us. Embiid, however, he is gorgeous. A rare breed of athleticism, skill, charisma and wit. On the road, in fucking Boston, Trust The Process chants while he’s shooting free throws before he throws down a monster dunk. He is so perfect. Let’s make a pact to keep it that way.