Hear ye! Hear ye! Come see this straw man, which serves as a perfect example for why the Philly media will run Ben Simmons out of town.

Oh, you mean would we like one of the best players on the planet who plays the game like Chase Utley on amphetamines and likes to have a little fun on the side? Yeah, I think we could make do.

This, this right here is why Ben Simmons will be run out of town. Aside from his flashiness and antics (Bryce Harper is only 24 years old), Harper plays the game exactly how Philly fans want their stars to play the game– hard, fast, and with an edge. There’s nothing to even debate. Simmons, on the other hand, will most likely play with a superstar cool, be aloof to the media, and generally have personal time habits that we hate due to our inferiority complex. And oh man, the radio guys REALLY aren’t going to like that.

Side note: This isn’t Rob and Harry’s fault. They don’t believe this, and they’re arguing for Harper on the air. But, it generates calls, and unintentionally or not, it will shape the opinions of some small-minded fans.