O. Em. Gee.

An anonymous tipster sent me these photos and I thought I had a real scoop on my hands until I realized that they’re publicly available on Reuben Frank’s Facebook page. No matter. I don’t know the context, nor am I sure I want to. Let’s just work with the data set that we’re given or can infer– Anthony Gargano and Reuben Frank raced each other at the Penn Relays sometime in the late 1980s, because apparently they’re around the same age (?), leading to this epic showdown between two heavyweights:

LOOK AT THE FORM! How many ACLs were torn in the making of this photo? Did Anthony’s back foot ever come unstuck from the ground? WHY ARE SOCKS? These are all questions I have.

I know everybody is in the #content game right now, so here’s a bit of gratis advice to CSN, the sort of thing I would usually charge for: Recreate this race now and live stream it. We need this. Just have the defibrillator and Primo’s ready to go. Maybe both.