The New York football Giants have one of the worst offensive lines in the National Football League.

They’re 0-2 and likely will be 0-3 after your team, your town, your Philadelphia Eagles inevitably lay the smacketh down this weekend.

YES broadcaster and ESPN NY 98.7 FM radio host Don La Greca didn’t want to hear excuses for the G-men’s miserable line play:

 

As a public service, I transcribed the above clip.

Don La Greca: “Did he have to throw the football? Come on, stop it already! Everybody’s coming up with these, ‘well this offensive lineman, only 27% of the time was Eli pressured from his left side on Monday nights when Sean McDonough is the announcer.’ Stop. Stop creating some narrative that everybody knows football better than somebody else. Your eyeballs tell the story. The offensive line sucks, period. That’s my stat. You want a stat? You want Sabermetrics? Don La Greca tweeted last night or said on the Michael Kay Show, that the offensive line stinks. That’s the stat. Give me a break. That’s what we’re going to do now, Michael? We’re going to be accountants now in baseball? What is it, the Pythagorean Theorem? The Pythagorean Theorem said that the their offensive line, that their record should be 1-1. The Pythagorean Theorem said the Giants should record should be 2-0. (random sounds)

Michael Kay: “When I talk Pythagorean Theorem I sound like that?”

La Greca: “No. The people that trust the Pythagorean Theorem, the people that listen to the Pythagorean Theorem, the people that sit there at their desk that only know the naked body through National Geographic that do the math to come up with the Pythagorean Theorem. That’s what they sound like. ‘duh daa duh duh da duhhhhh!’ Quit it. IT’S FOOTBALL. I’VE BEEN WATCHING IT FOR 40 YEARS. 40! 40 YEARS. THAT’S ONE OF THE WORST OFFENSIVE LINES I’VE EVER SEEN. And they have not gone this long without scoring 20 points since 1977-78 when Joe Pisarcik was their quarterback. (???). So take that with your PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM. The Joe Pisarcik theorem. YOU’RE DEAD.

 

For what it’s worth, the Pythagorean Theorem is a geometry concept stating that the square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides.

Apparently some people are now using the concept in football, I guess as a way to explain what kind of angle a defender needs to take in pursuit.

The irony is that this example uses Asante Samuel vs. Ahmad Bradshaw, as if Samuel would even make the tackle if he did catch up.

https://twitter.com/nbclearn/status/777600293177593856

Edit: Apparently La Greca was actually railing against the “Pythagorean Expectation,” a baseball metric that predicts wins and losses based on stats.

Edit 2: I should have known this. I’m ashamed of myself.

Edit 3: Actually, now that I think about it, this metric sounds completely pointless. He’s right; let’s just use our eyes instead.