Are we really doing this? Seriously, are we already cursing the heavens for our foul luck with drafting Markelle Fultz? We’re calling him a bust in this city after ONE preseason game? Hell, people were writing him off after one half last night, so I guess if you waited until the end of the game you were a bit more balanced in your assessment.

COLIN COWHERD WAS RIGHT. We do suck.

True, Fultz did look a little lost at times last night and struggled to get anything going offensively. Weird that a 19-year-old would be overwhelmed playing in his first professional NBA game. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

The Sixers Twitter overreaction to his first taste of NBA basketball is insane. The way morons were tweeting about his demise you’d have thought there was a line of people at the Ben Franklin Bridge waiting to cast themselves to their watery grave. Should’ve taken Lonzoooooooooooooooooooooo. Splash.

These Tweets deserve your mockery and scorn. In the Victorian ages, their authors would’ve been forced to wear a scarlet “O” on their lapels and publicly shamed for the rest of their miserable existences (O for “overreacter”…Nathaniel Hawthorne loves that reference, believe me).

And we’re officially ROCKETING out of the gate. Incoherent complaint? Check. Use of a vulgar slur to describe Fultz’s play? Check. Declaring Fultz needs to prove you wrong after one half of poor play? Check. That’s the good stuff. Harrison, I salute your ham-handed attempt at criticism.

The first of many, many, MANY tweets declaring Fultz possibly being a bust (though the author later claimed to be joking, just like Kyle was about Simmons). This is why we can’t have nice things, John.

Alright, I kind of enjoyed this one. Corny shit made me giggle. Is that a legitimate break down of his game? If he were playing well would Dan have described Fultz as being on some other type of shit? What would be a positive type of shit he could be on? The one where you don’t even have to wipe? Yeah, that’s the good stuff.

Ahhh ha, I see what you did there. WORDPLAY HUMOR AT ITS FINEST. It’s worth noting that Thomas here is a Lakers fan, according to this Twitter bio. Lonzo Ball is averaging six points in two preseason games on 33% shooting and is missing his next one due to an ankle injury. Lonzo BUST, is more like it. Flipped it on you, Thomas. How does that feel?

If only the 76ers had reached out to @broandre78 on Twitter, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. How did they not see Fultz would struggle in the NBA when Andre called it from the summer? What have we done?! It’s all so obvious now. Bryan Colangelo has set this franchise back decades with his hubris.

https://twitter.com/peraceticday/status/915735302882414592

A double dipper! Declaring both Fultz and Tatum to be busts after only seeing one half of Fultz and, to be honest, probably nothing of Tatum! Dammt, I like your chutzpah, @peraceticday. My brain hurts.

https://twitter.com/eastfallser29/status/915916038377738240

Alright, that was kind of funny.

https://twitter.com/BernardoCloss/status/915744460310564865

This is the Twitter translation of this Tweet: “Oh but he’s right in the FG, not pear … 1/10 FG. KMSKSNAKANSKSN DICK IN YOUR ASS FULTZ”

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.  I like this guy’s style. No holds barred analysis from another country. Kyle, do you need a foreign correspondent? This guy has the goods, baby.

Anddddd they just kept coming. All night long, more and more horrendous overreactions….

https://twitter.com/Granta_Claus/status/915782664367550464

https://twitter.com/iExquisiteHD_/status/914669668945793024

https://twitter.com/m0ron_/status/915721428946653184

https://twitter.com/martyonthecell/status/913942617200758784

https://twitter.com/peraceticday/status/914930847983243265

https://twitter.com/jaysonbuford/status/914641260069179394

HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION? WE’RE CRITIQUING HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS?

::puts own head in vice, squeezes until my eyes pop out and everything mercifully goes black::

Oh my god. Reading those tweets made me feel like Nicky Santoro at the end of Casino, lying in a shallow ditch in some cornfield after being beaten half to death with baseball bats, breathing in dirt as I’m buried alive.

This isn’t us, Philadelphia. IT’S NOT. We’re better than this.

Let’s all take a deep breath, put down our phones, and take solace in the fact that Embiid looked great out there last night.

::checks box score….Embiid DNP::

FML.