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Shut up and take your money. Is that how this works?

Our designer Conrad Burry (@ConradBurry) has done it again. Twice. And then once again on Sunday. GET THEM WHILE THEY’RE HOT.

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Here’s the deal: Last year, if you’ll recall, I worked my fingers to the bone trying to deliver you Christmas cheer. You think I’m kidding? Lest you forget Sweatshop Kyle. I cozzied up to the mail lady so hard that I forced her into retirement this year (no joke, she actually retired). I swore at UPS so many times that some people who work there think it’s now called FUPS. My poor wife, who handles fulfillment, didn’t go outside until Christmas Eve, but it was too much for her to handle after a month inside breathing printer ink and international class adhesive. Things got… a little bit out of hand. But you all got Christmas. I almost got divorced, but you got Christmas.

So this year we’re getting a head start on things and rewarding those of you who preorder with a 20% off discount now through end of day Friday. The added benefit is that I won’t have to call the screenprinter on Thanksgiving and threaten to stuff his head in the bird if he doesn’t KEEP THE MACHINES RUNNING.

But it’s not just one shirt. We’re bringing back our shirt from last year:

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And now, your Sunday shirts:

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All Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt preorders will ship the week of November 27, so you’ll have these bad boys in plenty of time for all your holiday gatherings, including our Ugly Christmas Sweater party on December 2 (I’m so good at marketing it’s disgusting). That preorder special is being extended to Sundays Are For The Birds. These can’t be combined with any previous discount codes, unless you’re a Crossing Broad subscriber (I’m sooooo good at this).

The First Joel is being printed on a super-soft poly cotton fashion crewneck. Slightly lighter than previous versions, but still plenty warm and soft. Sundays Are For The Birds is printed on a super-soft poly cotton blend t-shirt, and the sweatshirt is printed on a delicious super-soft poly cotton blend French terry. I don’t even know what that means, but I have one here and it is maybe my favorite shirt we’ve ever made. For real, it is going to slay this winter.

So stock up now. These may be hard to come by, but if you order now, I will personally drive them to your house if I have to so you have them by December 2. Right down your chimney I come.

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