I was at all three Philly sports events yesterday– the Villanova parade, the Phillies’ home opener, and the Flyers’ big win over the Carolina Hurricanes and Justin Williams, who is inexplicably still playing hockey.

What a day.

I thoroughly enjoyed the booing of Gable Kapler:

That’s so Philly, and I love every second of it. Deserved? Maybe. Over-the-top? Absolutely. But Gabe’s failure, more so than in the moves themselves, has been his response to them. He’s doubled down without even a shred of humility. We rightfully don’t take well to that kind of thing. Kapler has to prove himself, and after a first week filled bad decisions, strife and a failure to execute even the basic fundamental tenets of the game, it would’ve been best if he had dared to show his humanity just a bit.

That said, he’s beautiful. He walked right by me when the Phillies entered the stadium yesterday, and his skin was glistening. His confidence and muscle tone will get him a long, hard way in life. And while it should not matter one shred here, in either direction, the hardened media types will use it to whip Kapler’s firm ass. Behold:

https://twitter.com/AngeloCataldi/status/982206286686175232

Come on.

I wasn’t listening to the show and suspect there was some level of tongue-in-cheek here, but the point remains: this town will key on this bullshit because Kapler is a model who gets himself off with spreadsheets, coconut oil, and probably the aid of a few superfoods he read about in an email newsletter filled with links to meditation hints.

To answer the question specifically, I felt great about them, and in fact I could make a case for wanting to jump his bones in them. They look great. The best looking thing the Phillies have had in the dugout in years has been Ryne Sandberg’s blank stare, so Kapler showing some muscle tone and scintillating shades is a welcome addition. But to answer the question a bit more figuratively: stop being a mongrel.

I listened to the 97.5 morning show on my way down to the celebration yesterday, and heard Anthony Gargano unequivocally state that he would hate Kapler if he manages solely based on numbers. Jamie, more progressive than anyone on that show, pumped those breaks a little bit but was trampled over by Baldy, who crusaded against metrics he didn’t understand, treating exit velocity like it was a threat to humanity. Rather than try to understand or consider what it might mean – basically how hard someone hits the fucking ball – it got caught up in the wash of newfangled thinking that no one seemed to care to understand. And while I fully agree that you need to pair advanced stats with some level of feel and #emotionalintelligence, recklessly dismissing them is even worse.

So, even though Gabe Kapler might be in wayyyyyyy over his head, let’s hold off just a bit before completely burying him, and wait until we get more justifiable reasons to run him out of town. I’m sure they’ll turn up.