“With the first pick in the 2018 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select Luka Doncic, from Slovenia.”

I mean, no, it’s not gonna happen, but technically it could, and it’s better than the one-in-a-million chance that Lloyd Christmas had of getting together with Mary Swanson.

That’s my lede. That’s how we’re starting this story, with a Dumb and Dumber reference.

Now let’s review the parameters surrounding tonight’s draft lottery:

  • The Sixers get the Lakers’ first round pick if lands at number one overall or 10-13
  • if the pick falls at 2 or 3, Boston gets the selection and the Sixers receive the Kings’ 2019 first-rounder instead
  • there is a 1.1% chance the Sixers land the #1 overall pick
  • there is a 97.1% chance that the pick falls to the Sixers
  • there is a 2.9% chance the pick falls to Boston

There you have it. After a few years of captivating draft lotteries, this year feels a bit dull by comparison.

Here are specific odds for the individual picks the Sixers could receive, per ESPN’s Chris Forsberg:

 

“So you’re telling me there’s a chance?” 

Yeah, but we’re likely looking at the 10th or 11th pick on June 21st.

10th would put you in line to land Mikal Bridges, the long and lean Villanova wing who can defend multiple spots and shoot the ball a bit. Michigan State’s combo forward, Miles Bridges is projected to go in that range, too, and maybe Trae Young slides. For reference, C.J. McCollum, Paul George, and Sixer legend Andrew Bynum all were selected #10 overall in their respective drafts.

Whatever happens tonight, Phila also has these picks to work with next month:

  • 26 (natural pick)
  • 38 (via Brooklyn, trade involving Brandon Davies, Andrei Kirilenko, Jorge Gutierrez)
  • 39 (via New York, Arnett Moultrie/Travis outlaw trade)
  • 56 (natural pick)
  • 60 (via Houston, Shawn long trade)

You’re looking at two first rounders and four second rounders next month if tonight’s most likely scenario plays out as expected.

That’s about it. If you’re gonna go crazy at a lottery party, make sure to drink responsibly. Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.