We all know that the polar ice caps are melting and that planet Earth as we know it is probably on a fast track to an early destruction due to carbon emissions. We don’t live particularly close to the polar ice caps here, so it’s fairly easy to ignore all that.

But when the Schuylkill River looks like this, as it did today, well…yikes:

Technically, we aren’t really to blame for this. The Schuylkill flows south from parts of the state that we don’t generally think about too often.

Thing is, though, when they get deluged in places like Columbia County:

and Schuylkill County:

…the water that falls starts there and flows straight down to us. Along the way, it picks up all sorts of unpleasant detritus and waste. And the next thing you know, Boathouse Row looks like a stand-in for Calcutta.

This being Philadelphia, though, you can be sure that the national media will make this out to be our fault. “Those dirty Philadelphians, they can’t even take care of their own natural resources.”

So let me be the first to tell you, my fellow citizens: