PHOTO CREDIT: Brad Penner, USA TODAY

I don’t need you to tell me these picks have been, as the kids say, cheeks. Last week was a new low. Three picks, three losses. I was going to feel bad about my awful record in these picks until I heard a pundit on the Worldwide Leader this week say (and I’m paraphrasing): “Look, I’ve told you I’m awful at this, last week I was 0-5. But if you did what you were supposed to do and just went against my picks, you would have gone 5-0!” Preach on brother.

Nowhere to go but up this week — here are your Week 10 winners.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR v. MANCHESTER CITY

You will have to wait until Monday evening to collect your winnings on this one, but this is the one to go heavy on. Manchester City are atop the table; tied with Liverpool on points, the Citizens have a 10-goal advantage in goal difference. City are in fact that much better than Liverpool and everyone else in the league.

Pep Guardiola’s men are unbeaten since the ugly Champions League hiccup against Lyon on September 19. Since that loss, City are unblemished in six matches in all competitions. Specifically, they have five wins and a draw — and the draw was at Anfield against Liverpool. Four of the five wins in that stretch have been shutouts. It’s going well there in the blue half of Manchester.

Spurs, meanwhile, are as usual focused on the wrong things and reeling from another late collapse in Champions League play midweek. Tottenham’s continued use of Wembley Stadium as a home ground while the construction of their multi-billion pound new home continues to be an embarrassment to a club that does just fine tripping on its own cock, thank you very much.

Any day now. PHOTO CREDIT: Kirby Lee, USA TODAY

There’s just too much going on at and around Spurs to see anything but a City win at Wembley on Monday, no matter what damage the Philadelphia Eagles and Jacksonville Jaguars do there on Sunday. Take City to win and both teams to score at 21/10.

CRYSTAL PALACE v. ARSENAL

Too often, the analysis of a derby is “well, these teams know each other, their proximity makes this a rivalry, so this match should be closer than the relative quality of the sides would suggest.” Nonsense.

Arsenal are quietly having a very nice start to this Premier League campaign under new manager Unai Emery. The Gunners are currently back in the Champions League places (albeit by goal difference) and, unlike in past seasons, it’s not because every team around them is floundering. Arsenal have won seven straight league matches after dropping early tilts to Chelsea and Manchester City, i.e., two of the league’s top three. This isn’t Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal any more — it’s a lot better.

Elsewhere in London…ugh, what can you say about Crystal Palace. Two wins from nine league matches, a goal difference of -6, and they have dropped three on the spin in the league. Because the bottom half of the table is clogged with so much dross, it seems more likely than not that Palace will survive relegation this season. All the more reason to figure that they will get rinsed here in a match they don’t have much hope in. Take Arsenal to win at 8/11.

MANCHESTER UNITED v. EVERTON

Wayne Rooney isn’t walking through the door for either of these sides at the Theatre of Dreams, which is probably for the best. United manager Jose Mourinho has presumably sorted out his conflicted emotions after last weekend’s dust-up at Stamford Bridge:

The last thing the Special One needs is any drama this weekend against Everton. Good thing for him the Toffees are pretty average. Everton beat Crystal Palace 2-0 last weekend, and while that score might suggest that Everton had comfortable control throughout, that is simply not the case. Everton needed goals in the 87th and 89th minutes to secure that result. United are a lot better than Palace. This is going to be a stroll for Mou and the crew. Take United to win at 7/10.

Good luck this weekend.

LAST WEEK’S RESULTS

Chelsea to beat Manchester United at 8/13: LOSS

Wolverhampton to beat Watford at 8/11: LOSS

Bournemouth to beat Southampton at 21/20: LOSS

TOTAL LAST WEEK: -$300

TOTAL TO DATE: -$766