The first “hot takes” article did well last October, so I figured I’d do another one. This will be 50 more hot takes for the Philadelphia sports fan, which brings us to 100 hot takes over the course of eight months.

Now, not all of these are “hot” or even “takes,” i.e. some are lukewarm and some are just observations or maybe even aphorisms. But since this is 2019, I feel encouraged and motivated to just say shit without really thinking it through, then we’ll get people all riled up and benefit from the fake arguments that ensue. That’s the strategy, right? Just fire off a bunch of outrageous claims and watch site traffic roll.

Right, so with that Pulitzer-worthy lede, here are 50 more hot takes for you and your mom, after the jump:

  1. Grown men should not bring a baseball glove to the ballpark unless accompanied by a child who is also wearing a glove.
  2. Glen Macnow and Ray Didinger is the best radio show in Philadelphia.
  3. It’s really weird that fans and media always call NBA players by their first names. We’re not their close friends, so I don’t know why Kawhi Leonard is just “Kawhi” and Kobe Bryant is just “Kobe” and LeBron James is just “LeBron.” We don’t refer to Tom Brady as “Tom” and we don’t refer to Drew Brees as “Drew.” It’s kind of creepy.
  4. Philadelphia sports fans are horrendous at detecting sarcasm and satire.
  5. Shitting on Pat’s and Geno’s for being “touristy” is a tired take. The “what’s your favorite cheesesteak?” argument is beyond worn out.
  6. If you cut off other drivers at the sports complex, you’re an asshole. This is especially true for people in the outside lanes who turn in front of Xfinity Live and just force their way into the Wells Fargo Center parking lots. Wait in line like the rest of us.
  7. Wearing a matching Eagles hat and jersey is inappropriate. The max should be one article of specific team apparel, so either the hat OR the jersey, but not both.
  8. Too many media members in this city treat sporting events like social events, as if it’s important to “see and be seen,” but not actually do any work or ask any interesting questions. It’s the struggle to remain relevant.
  9. You can’t talk shit about soccer if you watch WWE.
  10. Late 90s ECW was better than anything WWE or WCW ever put out.
  11. Tommy Dreamer should be ranked higher on any list of the best ECW wrestlers of all time. (Coggin tells me this is not a hot take)
  12. Every able-bodied writer should be forced to play or referee the sport they cover for at least one year. It adds to your knowledge of the game while offering more credibility at the same time.
  13. People like to complain about “fanboy journalism,” but the fact of the matter is that people click whenever we write a story that makes fun of Dallas, Boston, or New York.
  14. Fake news isn’t fake news because you disagree with it. The term literally means that the story is fabricated. We had this problem with the Joe Santoliquito story, when people outright dismissed it because they didn’t like the assertions being made, regardless of whether or not they were true.
  15. Synchronization at Philly sporting arenas is pretty bad. I’m not sure if it’s an acoustics problem or what, but sometimes simple cheers like “M-V-P or “De-fense” are being shouted at different times by 2-3 different sections of the stadium. It makes it look like we don’t know what we’re doing.
  16. I can’t take you seriously if you can’t actually pronounce player names. It’s not Nelson “Aguilar,” nor is it Alshon “Jefferies” or Chase “Daniels.” Sports radio hosts should be instructed to hang up on callers who can’t pronounce names.
  17. Pittsburgh isn’t a rival city. They are geographically further away than New York and D.C. and the fans who live there are very similar to us.
  18. The NHL has the best overtime rules among the “four major North American sports.”
  19. The NFL has the worst overtime rules, by far.
  20. 162 games of regular season baseball is a total snooze fest. Trim the regular season (boring TV) and add more playoff games (excellent TV).
  21. The Flyers’ decision to cover and then remove the Kate Smith statue was totally rushed, like they didn’t think it through and just copied the Yankees in fear of bad publicity.
  22. Likewise, it bothers me how quickly people were calling for Odubel Herrera’s removal from the Phillies organization. This is America; we gather facts, collect evidence, and exercise due diligence. Then we make informed and educated decisions.
  23. Baseball traditionalists are the worst. “Nothing needs to change! Baseball is perfect the way it is!” Ugh, go away.
  24. There’s too much mucking, grinding, and bullshitting on the boards in the NHL. The international dimensions make for a more open and enjoyable game.
  25. Stephen A Smith is a national treasure.
  26. “Click bait” is defined by the body of the story, not the headline. We are literally trying to write headlines that grab attention and result in people clicking on the story. They’re called “teases” in television lingo.
  27. Boston isn’t much different from Philly. Both are great cities with history and culture and passionate sports fans. The only difference is they have horrible accents and Coggin thinks they’re more racist.
  28. The in-game interview is the worst segment of all time and eternity. There’s no reason a coach should have to speak to the media during an actual game.
  29. Media should not be allowed in the locker room, which is a sacred and private place for athletes.
  30. Arena music is really bad in 2019. Some of the stuff you hear at Sixers’ games is the worst mumble rap ever.
  31. “Welcome to the Jungle” needs to be banned from sporting events forever. It’s worn out.
  32. I can’t support calling touchdowns “tuddies.”
  33. Tomato pie is whatever. It’s not horrible, but it’s not good either.
  34. Twitter should lock for at least 30 minutes after an Eagles loss, and everybody should be required to go outside and smoke a cigarette before they can log back in.
  35. People still have no idea what Colin Kaepernick is protesting.
  36. Criticizing the Wing Bowl for objectifying women feels off-base to me. Nobody forced anyone to be a wingette or escort the eaters to the stage, those women signed up to do that.
  37. I don’t understand Philadelphia’s love for Pearl Jam. Alice in Chains and Soundgarden are the superior Seattle grunge bands. Nirvana is also overrated.
  38. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band may very well be the most overrated act on the planet.
  39. Mike Trout is boring.
  40. Most sports writers and editors have an inflated sense of worth. We are not firefighters or doctors. We are not uncovering Russian collusion. Sports is entertainment. It’s the appreciation of athletic skill and achievement. We can inform and write interesting stories without taking ourselves too seriously.
  41. Let’s not confuse journalism for sports writing. Peter Arnett was a journalist who reported from Vietnam and Iraq. Dan Shaughnessy is a sports writer who covers Boston teams.
  42. We talk about how much we love Philadelphia, about how “blue collar” we are, yet I see trash and dog shit on every street corner. We need to do a better job of taking care of our neighborhoods and showing some pride in where we live.
  43. If you shovel out your own parking spot, then put a cone there to save it, you’re a selfish asshole. It literally takes five minutes to shovel out your neighbor’s car or clear the snow from their steps. Do something for somebody else.
  44. Stop calling Fishtown “hipster.” It hasn’t been hipster for years. All of the hipsters moved to the west side of Frankford Avenue or down to East Passyunk.
  45. Media members who don’t show up during the regular season should be banned from attending playoff games.
  46. Eagles talk should be banned from the end of minicamp to the start of training camp.
  47. I wasn’t a fan of Justin Gaethje’s “American vs. a foreigner” angle at the recent UFC Fight Night at the Wells Fargo Center. Gaethje is from Arizona. His opponent, Edson Barboza, has trained in New Jersey for several years. Barboza was born in Brazil but has more of a connection to this region than Gaethje does. That felt a little hollow to me, the fact that the crowd was lopsided in Gaethje’s favor.
  48. Media members should never talk shit about a player on social media, then go put a microphone in his or her face. Athletes pay attention to those kinds of things.
  49. Calling millennials “soft” is dumb, because Baby Boomers were the ones handing out the participation trophies. We literally created the environment they are living in.
  50. Parents who yell at their kids, the coach, or the referees at a youth sporting event should be immediately escorted from the premises and put on six months of probation.

That’s what I’ve got.

Agree? Disagree? Just want to troll the comments section? Get at me dog.