It’s come to my attention that things are cooling off a bit here. The Eagles are done for the year, the Sixers are struggling, the Phillies are in their preseason, and the Flyers are on a nice little run but have yet to totally catch fire.

We need to fan the flames and make things a little more toasty. We need to drop the latest installment of the 50 Hot Takes column, where only the hottest takes are included. Anything lukewarm or tepid is discarded. We’re talking spicy Thai here, not Tostitos mild salsa.

This time I enlisted some help from fellow writers and some Crossing Broad readers, because hot takes are a fundamental right and should not be restricted to the 1% of wealthiest Americans:

  1. Running is boring.
  2. Peloton is haughty.
  3. Philadelphia should have an XFL team playing at Subaru Park.
  4. Philly is not a hard working, blue collar city. There’s trash all over the place, people reserve parking spots illegally with cones and chairs, and half of the folks here don’t even know or talk to their neighbors.
  5. The on-campus Temple football stadium just isn’t worth the money. They need to get out of the Linc, but North Philly is not an option.
  6. Guest take from Kyle: “Wawa sucks”
  7. People like Kyle who trash Wawa aren’t framing their argument properly. Nobody is out here claiming that Wawa is five star food, or comparable to great local delis. What makes Wawa great is the convenience and familiarity. You know what you’re getting and it’s a quick and easy stop. Go live in a state without Wawa, then come back and see me.
  8. Florida does not deserve Wawa.
  9. Each media outlet should be limited to one reporter per sporting event.
  10. If you didn’t attend regular season games as a credentialed reporter, you should be barred from playoff games.
  11. Nobody can talk shit about Esports or the Philadelphia Fusion. Did you see how many people packed The Met for their home games two weeks ago?
  12. The worst part of having kids is not the lack of sleep, or changing poop diapers. It’s the germs they bring home from daycare. You will definitely become sick, so just accept it.
  13. Not only is Peppa Pig the best children’s TV show, it’s acceptable to watch even if you don’t have a kid.
  14. One problem with hockey is that it’s hard to talk about on the radio. The NBA, NFL, and Major League Baseball generate natural talking points centered around heavily-featured superstars and easily identifiable coaching decisions. Talking points are very naturally produced. It’s a lot harder for casual “four for four” fans to get into a discussion as to whether Joel Farabee should play on the 2nd or 3rd line, or whether Carter Hart should start the next road game.
  15. Subaru Park is a better live experience than the Linc, Wells Fargo Center, and Citizens Bank Park.
  16. Southern hip hop died in 2004.
  17. The pool is much better than the beach.
  18. The new Taco Bell location in South Philly was badly needed. Can’t wait for it to open.
  19. Guest take from Russ: “Rob Manfred and the Astros were in cahoots in the cheating scandal to make baseball relevant again
  20. Another guest take from Russ: “The Philadelphia Union will have more playoff wins than the Phillies”
  21. Guest take from Phil: “the Phillies finish under .500, 4th place in division”
  22. I don’t think a WNBA team would do well in Philadelphia. Tough schedule that overlaps with NBA playoffs, Phillies games, and vacation season.
  23. You don’t have to support a team to enjoy a sport. This is one of the biggest fallacies out there. It’s more enjoyable to watch a good game without a rooting interest, because then you don’t get pissed if your squad loses.
  24. Legal sports betting makes fantasy sports really boring.
  25. Guest take from reader Tim: “Fantasy football is stupid and has run its course”
  26. Guest take from reader E.J. – “Andre Iguodala is the best former Sixer in NBA history with the initials AI”
  27. Roger Moore was an underrated James Bond.
  28. Walking around wearing a surgical mask to protect yourself from the Coronavirus is weird. It freaks me out.
  29. Penn DOT is easily the worst government agency in the United States, just beating out Congress and the Philadelphia Department of Revenue.
  30. I love Pierre Robert but he does too much talking between songs.
  31. Soundgarden and Alice in Chains are/were better than Nirvana.
  32. Guest take from Twitter user Lyle: “All sports should allow the top seed to pick their opponent as long as they are still playing. It should not go based on just lowest seed.”
  33. Guest take from Coggin: “Tapas is garbage and the biggest scam in the restaurant industry”
  34. Central Jersey does not exist.
  35. Nobody gives a fuck about the “pork roll vs. Taylor Ham” argument.
  36. Guest take from Twitter user Matt: “Pot holders are for cowards”
  37. Saying that boxing is better than mixed martial arts is horribly misguided. MMA is literally boxing PLUS every other martial discipline known to mankind. It is literally the evolution of boxing. There’s more strategy, more nuance, and more diversity in approach and style.
  38. We rag Howard Eskin for being a dope and a nitwit, but he should be commended for all of the charity work he’s done over the years.
  39. I think all media members should take part in an annual seminar where players and coaches go over fundamentals of the sport you cover. You must then pass a written exam in order to be credentialed to cover the sport in question. If referees have to do this, then we should, too.
  40. The printing of those long CVS receipts should be considered a felony, and their CEO thrown in prison.
  41. Shopping carts should not be allowed in the self-checkout lane, only baskets. If you bring a cart into this lane, you are fined $50.
  42. Guest take from Kevin Cooney: “Roast pork is the real sandwich of the city, not the cheesesteak.”
  43. Guest take from Kyle Neubeck: “Adults eating ketchup is embarrassing.”
  44. I agree with Bob Saget, who said “Marijuana is not a drug,” in the 1998 movie Half Baked.
  45. It’s okay to be a political moderate in 2020. Twitter police will tell you otherwise, but Twitter is not real life.
  46. Iowa should be forced to vote last in the 2024 primaries.
  47. We should tax Philadelphia churches at 1% and use the money to fill the pot holes.
  48. New rule: sports radio listeners are only allowed to call in once per week. For Eagles Shirley, Kenny from the Dirty 30, and Butch from Manayunk, the rule is one phone call per month.
  49. In 2020, not having a take is actually a hot take.
  50. My takes are better than ESP’s takes.

In case you missed the previous iterations of this column, here are some links to:

We’re now up to 250 hot takes since the inception of this column. That’s content you can’t find anywhere else. I’ll even leave you a bonus take, in audio format:

#51 – No One Cares About Your Fantasy Team