Semi-freakout last night after the TV stations and other media outlets in town reported that police would stop making arrests for a specific list of non-violent crimes, like retail theft and prostitution.

This, of course, resulted in people thinking we were entering some version of “The Purge,” with masked marauders running around stealing, looting, rioting, and doing whatever else they deemed appropriate in the middle of a crisis. It was rather stupid that this information got out there in the first place, because of course people became really concerned and scared.

No worries, however. New commish Danielle Outlaw clarified the pandemic policy in a statement released just after midnight:

Hear that? All of you scoundrels who were planning some nefarious shit are gonna have to forget about it. The police department is still out and about, they’re just switching up some procedures out of an abundance of Covid caution.

Back to your regularly-scheduled programming.