Wear those Nate Sudfeld jerseys with pride, Philadelphia, and take delight in the fact that the tears of the national media and New York Giants fans are lubricating the treads of the unstoppable Doug Pederson-brand tanks rolling their way to a top-six 2021 draft pick.

The wailing and gnashing of teeth over what the Eagles “did” should be music to your ears. Your Philadelphia Eagles gamed the system for all it was worth and came out on the other side in a better position for it. SURE, it was on a national stage and will be the center of a media cycle until Tom Brady refuses to shake hands with someone else, but we lived through three years of this with Sam Hinkie. We should be able to do this standing on our heads, because the reward is so much better than the punishment.

And let me tell you all a little secret… lean in real close because this is very important… the same Giants fans who are crying about the “integrity” of what the Eagles did last night were BEGGING for Pat Shurmur to lose week 17 last season for a chance at drafting Chase Young:

BUT BUT BUT BUT what happened to the precious integrity of the game? Shouldn’t every team try to win every game it plays? It’s like you almost didn’t want to win a pointless game when it could have improved your team in the long run… and we all know how shameful that can be.

I guess I do see his point, though. When you have a 6-10 team you desperately want them to get into the playoffs at all cost. Who knows what they could have accomplished in the first round against the Bucs? Anything is possible. They could have only lost by two touchdowns. Thanks to the Eagles, the world is now deprived of what could have been a tremendous Giants embarrassment on a national stage.

And it’s not as if Mike Glennon was starting games ahead of a more talented quarterback in the year of our lord 2020; that would be insane! Or the Jets calling for an all-out blitz and leaving their cornerbacks on islands bigger than Greenland during an obvious Hail Mary scenario to lose on purpose and preserve their draft position.

It’s not as if the Bucs pulled all of their starters at halftime in week 17 of the 2014 season when they were up 20-7 against the Saints to purposefully lose the game and preserve their #1 pick in the draft. That would be tanking… and we know no franchise would ever dare DEFILE the NFL with such dastardly and underhanded strategies. We respect the NFL shield too much to ever cotton to something so grotesque.

And if we’re being completely honest? The Eagles are the real victims here. If it wasn’t for an Evan Engram drop in week seven Philadelphia would have a TOP FIVE draft pick next year. That’s the real shame of it all, the Giants’ ineptitude cost the Eagles an even better pick in the 2021 draft. I’ll never forgive them for that.

Embrace the attention, Philadelphia. Bathe and wallow in the GRAND STINK of it all with the knowledge that nobody will be even talking about this one week from now. Are you that upset over what Dan Orlovsky thinks? What the fanbase of a 6-10 team thinks when they lashed all of their postseason hopes and dreams on the backs of a 4-11-1 team?

This shouldn’t even be a blip on your radar, Philadelphia fans. Pay it no mind.

If you want to worry about something, worry about how Howie Roseman is going to completely blow the pick the Eagles just tanked so hard for. Maybe next year we can tank even harder for a new GM?