Big day in Philadelphia.

Finally, we will get to hear from Nick Sirianni, the Eagles’ new head ball coach, who will speak at noon with the stalwart and indomitable local media. No doubt this group will seek answers to our burning questions about the quarterback situation and whether or not Sirianni has yet to try a cheesesteak.

But on an even less serious note, we’re setting the odds at the Crossing Broad sports book. We’re trying to determine who will be given the first question at today’s press conference, and right now the board looks like this:

  • Reuben Frank  -125
  • John McMullen -110
  • Dave Zangaro +100
  • Kristen Rodgers +125
  • Zach Berman +125
  • Jeff McLane +175
  • T Mac +200
  • Paul Domowitch +250
  • any other scribe +500
  • Howard “The King” Eskin +700

There’s a lot of good value in here. Personally, I like Roob at -125, though John McMullen has been the first question asker on a number of recent occasions and Zangaro at +100 is worth a look. Z Berm is a sleeper pick and there was late line movement that saw him slide up the board to +125. Does somebody know something we don’t?

It’s also worth noting that Dave Spadaro has been removed from the board because he did a 1v1 sit down interview with Sirianni earlier this week. We will refund all bettors who placed money on Spuds.

In addition to the above markets, we are offering the following prop bets:

Howard Eskin to ask about something completely irrelevant

-250

Might be worth putting some money on this. The King asked Gabe Kapler about coconut oil masturbation at his introductory press conference, so you never know, he could once again ask a question that is totally pointless.

Jeff McLane to ask about Carson Wentz or Howie Roseman

-1500

Not a lot of value in this pick, but if you’re looking for a parlay sweetener, throw this in the bet slip and come back around.

Les Bowen with a follow-up question, asking Sirianni if he’d like to clarify a previous answer

-8000

This one is a slam dunk. Sirianni will answer an early question and then Les will ask if he’s “sure” that he believes what he already said.

Rob Maaddi to ask the last question of the press conference

-450

Personally, I would take this bet. Rob likes to wait in the wings, and watch the press conference play out in front of him. Then he swoops in with the late question and makes his presence known.

over/under on ‘quarterback situation’ questions

over 3.5 -110, under 3.5 -115

Hmm… well this is certainly going to be the hottest topic. 3.5 is a TOUGH line, but I’m leaning towards the over right now.

which quarterback’s name is mentioned most?

Jalen Hurts +200, Carson Wentz -350

I would say we’re gonna hear the name “Carson Wentz” more than “Jalen Hurts” in this press conference, but +200 is decent value on the latter. That bet might hit if Sirianni and/or the question askers mention both quarterbacks at the same time, which would keep the number relatively close until it ultimately skews one way.

“The Athletic Special”

Bo Wulf, Zach Berman, and Sheil Kapadia all to ask a question: +225

Will one outlet get three questions at Nick Sirianni’s introductory press conference? You’ll have to throw a few dollars on this and find out.

Jimmy Kempski to draw a stick figure and post it on Twitter within 12 hours of the presser ending

-175

This one looks like a pretty safe bet. Easy money.

Columnists assemble

any two to ask a question: Mike Sielski, Marcus Hayes, and David Murphy: +500

Intriguing one here. If this was any typical press conference, I’d stay away. But introductory pressers are different. They last longer and there are more participants. There is a very likely possibility that Mike and Marcus both get their turn in the Zoom meeting.

Tossing up softballs

Sirianni to be asked about Rocky, cheesesteaks, or the passion of Philadelphia sports fans: -110 (max bet $10)

We had to cap this one at $10 because you know somebody is gonna ask some corny softball question about the blue collar Philly Eagles fans and how we’re so passionate and all of this blah blah bullshit. Lunch pails and whatnot.

Eliot Shorr-Parks to post a hot take on Twitter

-25000

Again, just not a lot of value here.

But get those bets in and good luck! We’ll see how this plays out, shortly.

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(This is satire. There is no “Crossing Broad sports book”)