I’m supposed to be on paternity leave right now, but this is an important story that requires immediate attention. All Twitter kerfuffles must be investigated thoroughly and treated with the appropriate seriousness.

In this instance, we’ve got Fanatic-on-Fanatic crime. On the eve of Fan Fest, no less! It’s John Kincade, representing Temple University, vs. Mike Missanelli, who is a Penn State Nittany Lion.

For context, Penn State is hosting Auburn on Saturday night, and they’re doing a white out game at Beaver Stadium. Killer atmosphere. Everybody wears white and blah blah. Kincade has been poo-pooing Penn State on the radio this week and it led to this Friday night exchange:

Some thoughts here, and we can go in somewhat chronological order:

  • Penn State being 8-8 in white out games requires context. 13 of those 16 games have taken place against ranked opponents, seven of which were in the top 10 at the time. We’re talking REALLY GOOD Ohio State and Michigan teams, plus a Bama team that went on to win the National Title. PSU has actually won three of their last four white outs with the other being a one-point loss to the Buckeye team that won the Rose Bowl.
  • Beaver atmosphere is awesome. I honestly believe that a Penn State white out game is better than anything you’ll get at Heinz Field or The Linc. It’s the best football gameday experience in this state.
  • John is RIGHT when he says that white out is not special relative to SEC atmospheres. LSU, Bama, UGA, etc – night games at any of these places are what you would find in Happy Valley. If anything, I’d say they are all EQUALLY GOOD.
  • Mike saying Kincade “couldn’t get into Penn State” is hilarious. What is this, the Ivy League?  According to US News, PSU’s main campus has “an acceptance rate of 54% and an early acceptance rate of 67.9%.” Not exactly Dartmouth. And if you want to get into a Penn State branch campus, all you need is a pulse.
  • I do, however, think Mike is well within his right to clap back at Kincade for his persistent Penn State chirping.
  • Mike and John were sniping each other over the Odubel Herrera thing some time ago. Mike is a liberal and John is conservative. There may be LINGERING ANIMOSITY there, but dormant. Subterranean, beneath the Earth’s crust.

The Temple vs. Penn State thing is somewhat fascinating. Believe it or not, a grand total of zero Crossing Broad staffers went to either school, which seems statistically impossible. You can’t throw a pair of headphones in this region without hitting an Owl or a Nittany Lion. As a detached bystander, it seems like there’s a two-way inferiority/superiority complex going on here. But which sentiment is stronger?

I don’t think I’m out of line to say that there is a PORTION of Penn State people who think they are God’s gift to the Earth and that Happy Valley is Shangri-La. Not everybody, but a small portion. Most of the Nitters I’d say are cool. Much better than Pittsburgh Panther alumni.

And then on the Temple side, it’s an urban school with a mostly crappy football team and underachieving basketball team, so you DO sense a bit of that inferiority coming through. Don’t tell me those Owl kids wouldn’t have loved to have the Saturday tailgating and booze fest atmosphere that you find at PSU or another big state school.

There’s only one way to settle this between John and Mike. Celebrity boxing match. Four ounce gloves. Lenny Dykstra on the undercard fighting The Angry Bagel Guy.