The Flyers open their season tonight against the Vancouver Canucks.

To get you PUMPED for the new campaign, the team released this uber-boring hype video:

Nothing about this gets me pumped for Flyers hockey, and no offense to Keith Jones, but you gotta at least act like you give a shit. It’s like he’s doing a $20 Cameo and reading notes off his phone:

“Yeah uh… I was told it’s your birthday, and uh, your girlfriend says that you’re an aspiring engineer… and you like to ride BMX bikes. That’s great. Anyway good luck.” 

Come on Jonesy, put some oomph into it.

Anyway, let’s hope the Flyers come out buzzing tonight. Need somebody to knock Bo Horvat on his ass on the first shift and then hip check J.T. Miller into the second row. Set the tone. Let’s get some fucking jam in the building. I wanna see people “rip their fucking heart out of their chest,” as Peter Laviolette once said. And if you don’t, then you’re not gonna like your ice time. Take your first shift; you’ll get it, earn the second one. I’m not putting up with it. It’s too much horse shit. It’s too much. Don’t allow it.