Nick Sirianni showed up to Wednesday’s press conference wearing a cut-off sweat shirt that looked like some combination of Bill Belichick and Kanye West, if they were extras in the new Dune movie. It looked super-comfortable, and was a nice departure from what he normally wears, be it Sixers/Flyers/Phillies stuff or colorful tees with his players’ likenesses or slogans on them.

But this isn’t Project Runway, it’s a midweek media availability before a huge weekend matchup against the winless Lions. Today Sirianni went off on a weird tangent about plants, and the entire thing was transcribed by Brandon Lee Gowton at Bleeding Green:

So Sirianni is now a botanist? There’s a “Gardener” Minshew joke to be made here, though I’m not sure all portions of the Eagles’ fan base would get it.

But it begs the question – if the Eagles were a flower, what would they be? A Venus Fly Trap? They lured us in for another season and now we’re stuck and can’t get out.

Maybe a “corpse flower,” which is that rare thing that’s supposed to stink really bad, like rotting meat. That would be apt.

Or perhaps the Eagles are more of a weed right now, like the thistle that keeps popping up through the mulch no matter how many times you pull it. Really annoying.

I feel bad for Sirianni, because he’s gonna get crushed for this. This will go down as an all-time goofy quote from him. The metaphor was realistic, of course, but imagine showing your football team a picture of a flower, and then telling them they’re currently watering and fertilizing. They’re probably thinking “what the hell is this guy’s deal?”

The only way for Sirianni to progress from here is by beating the ever-living crap out of the Lions on Halloween.

Poor guy.