Below is Rich Paul’s “Raw Cashew” collection, which translates to “Sore Nuts” for anyone keeping score at home:

Pictures from the New Balance Rich Paul collection

For who for what is the market for these? Who’s stopping you on the street midday and asking, “Yo. Are those the new Rich Paul’s? I heard they were sold out everywhere.” Egg on my face though, because you can’t find these anywhere and StockX is listing them for $400. How long until Scott Boras is pushing Cialis in a bathtub in Bora Bora? Two months if this lockout keeps up?

Rich Paul, a man with adult braces, has his own clothing line. You’re probably asking “why?” which is more than fair. Well here’s your why from Hypebeast:

…the sportswear brand is now joining forces with LeBron James‘ agent Rich Paul for a special New Balance 550 and apparel collection. The launch is designed to inspire people to get after their dreams and strive to blaze their own path.

Nothing says getting after your dreams like shoes my dad mowed the lawn in. Even better, Rich Paul mentioned how growing up he didn’t have the money to buy clothes that ‘expressed success’ –

“Growing up, we always had an affinity for fashion but had very limited resources to express ourselves, and few examples of what success could look like off the court,” said Paul.

So New Balance and Rich Paul are probably targeting the Starbury model, right? $40? $50? Let’s make sure they’re affordable for everyone and kids are able to feel empowered and express success while striving toward their dreams. Nope. A buck 40:

The products will be available via New Balance and KLUTCH on December 10. Prices will range from $40 USD for the graphic tee to $140 USD for the 550s.

To his credit, Rich Paul has never claimed to love the kids:

P.S. – Has Rich Paul ever not been referred to as somebody’s something? LeBron James’ agent. Adele’s boyfriend. Ben Simmons’ conservator. That’s gotta be a tough life to live.